


Separated

by ghxulie



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Cigarettes, Depression, Explicit Language, Gen, Gore, Guns, Hallucinations, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Knives, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Nervousness, Panic Attacks, Screaming, Sickness, Sleep Deprivation, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts, Vomiting, alcohol consumption, anger problems, breakdown - Freeform, burial, emotional breakdown, ooc, self doubt, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:38:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1596902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghxulie/pseuds/ghxulie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started all when they were being chased down by a hoard, all of the men in opposite directions to have only two find each other in the bottom of a ditch. Both now have to come over their problems and find the rest of their Achievement Hunter group, a hard feat that challenges both minds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scared

**Author's Note:**

> First story... It is okay. I guess. Criticism and feedback is loved. Hate is not needed. It is going to start off not very gore like and stuff cause I do not want to start like that.

It was a rather sticky and wet day, causing everyone to lounge around lazily in the office; either playing a video game at a leisurely pace or simply making small talk, laughing like there was no care in the world. When the lights flickered, which was seemingly alright as they just moved to the new building not even a month ago, everyone stopped to glance around. An eerie chill cut through, thick silence taking over the once happy tone of the room. They all looked around, then towards each other. They knew one of them had to go and find the source of the problem down in the basement, and everyone knew at the same time that the basement was a creepy ass place to be when it was a total blackout.

Geoff stood up with a hefty sigh, muttering to himself about the poor electricity during a storm, as he volunteered himself to go downstairs. He wandered down the near empty hall, giving half-assed smiles to the few people that decided to show up for work today. He opened the basement door, making a grunt as he saw how pitch black it was before turning around and went to go and find a flashlight. After obtaining one, he trekked down the creaky stairs with heavy footsteps and looked around for the generator. The sound of something, someone eating food? It did sound very pleasant as whatever it was munching on. It made his stomach painfully start to form a tight knot, though he tried his best to keep going. Geoff stopped again as the sound stopped, a low almost animalistic snarl came from the thing. He could hear it start to get up and slowly saunter over towards the man, Geoff did not stay long after that. He ran straight back up the stairs simply out of fear, heart racing from both adrenaline and fear. He slammed the door shut, shakily walking backwards, listening to the thing bang violently against the door angrily. He turned, using passed confused co-workers as he bolted straight for the Achievement Hunter office. He tripped into the door, kicking the door closed and flopped over. The eldest did not notice the concerned looks the others wore, staying on the carpeted ground. Geoff slowly picked himself up, cheeks flushing from embarrassment as he saw the five pairs of eyes on him. He did not make any eye contact, and it concerned them.

There was a sudden snicker, the elder looking up towards the dirty red head and his cheeks heated up more. "who the hell scared ya? Did Gus finally get his revenge on you from the last time?" he asked through his now loud laughter, "Or did you just scare yourself from being in the dark basement 'cause you saw too many fucking horror movies." blue eyes darkened a little, and the leader of the group crossed his tattooed arms against his chest tightly and almost childishly. That only caused Michael to laugh harder and louder, almost failing out of his chair. He was startled when he suddenly felt a hand slapped over his mouth, looking into almost scared eyes. Michael was reduced from loud and obnoxious laughter, to giggles to nothing at all. Geoff waited until there was complete silence before he backed away, crossing his arms again and heavily leaned against the door. He was silent for awhile before taking in a deep breath. He could hear footsteps outside the room, but disregarded them as he thought it was someone just stopping at the door to sake their head in shame.

"Look..." he started, "there was something down there... I don't know what. But it didn't.. It didn't sound human. Unless it was some jackass that decided to play a prank on one of us they did a pretty good job of scaring the shit of me. But I don't think so 'cause I know who was out on the floor and I don't think anyone could have made those sounds that  _thing_ had made. I..." he was cut off from yelling, the sounds of tripping and desks scrapping against the floor. They knew it was not a good thing as they heard someone fall, the screams becoming muffled with time and soon a gurgle. Silence became thick yet again. There was rapid banging on the door that was cut off too soon to be helped, the sounds of ripping flesh and bones was becoming prevailing. The knot that had already formed in Geoff's stomach had tightened more and he could feel himself start to become nauseated from the scent of death and blood. He slid down the glass door slowly, head tilted backwards. He could imagine more now on what was happened outside, and he could not tell what was causing that manslaughter outside.

He eventually looked towards the other men in the room after the slaughter outside had gone away, or so he hoped so as he did not want to go outside and have his face chewed off by one of those creatures. Geoff bit his bottom lip and looked away, taking another moment to think and then stood up. He cleared his throat from the lump that had formed, though his voice was cracked. "we need to get out of here... before whatever that was finds us... we need to find others..." the rest stayed there before slowly one by one stood up. Geoff turned to face the door, opening it slowly once he doubled checked that everyone was behind him and was prepared to face the outside death arena. He opened the door slowly, the creaking echoing loudly. He took a moment to listen carefully for any sort of any other sounds.

Nodding in conformation as he knew that there was no other sounds in the building, he walked out slowly and looked around, making sure he snatched the flashlight he had dropped before and turned it on. He could see a mangled body that was ripped opened, organs spilled around the corps messily. It seemed that most of it was chewed up and spat out, as he noticed that some bits was closer towards them. From there, he could see a tinier body than the rest but had no time to fully identify it as he was pulled along. He presumed that the others had known and decided to take the elder away before he could see what had happened. The nausea started to come back with full force as he saw his co-worker's bodies strewn about, covering his nose and breathed through his mouth so that he did not have to smell the vile smell. It did not do much as he could feel himself wanting to vomit as he now could taste the stench, having to stop just outside the door. He pressed his forehead to the cool metal door and breathed deeply to vainly try and calm himself down.

He banged his fist on the door, and he could feel himself start to sink down to the ground and onto his knees heavily. He banged his fist again, wanting to yell as he could remember the body. How tiny it was and how much it looked too much like his daughter. Or really now dead daughter. He began to think that it was Millie, yet at the same time he was pathetically trying not to cry in front of his co-workers. He needed to be brave. Needed to be strong and get them to somewhere safe. He need to be there for them. He needed to suck it up and grow a pair. Yet at the same time, he was fearful and all he wanted to do was pathetically crawl back t the body to identify it. Maybe if he had time cradle it and let the tears that built up spill. But, all of his muscles stayed stiff, and the man stayed there in a heap on the floor. 

The leader could feel himself being picked up, staring at friendly green eyes. Gavin gave a small smile to is friend before picking up the flashlight and gave it to Geoff. Though the older could tell that the man was trying to be strong for when he could not. Typical Gavin. He knew that was going to end badly for all of them. No matter how hard he tried, the Brit always seemed to try to be strong before either being violently sick or scared himself. And it as obvious that he was green from the smell, even holding the bile back made him sicker. Gavin patted the older's back gently before taking a step back, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as he could feel his stomach flip. He uncharacteristically silently waved the other's away, turning to the side and covered his mouth with his hand and tried to think of something other that the body that was touching his foot.

Geoff looked towards the rest, hand resting on the door knob and slowly turned. He let the door sluggishly swing open, and peered out the doorway. His gaze stopped on his car, patting down his pockets to make sure that he still had his keys on his person. He took another quick glance around before going out, motioning the others to follow slowly behind. "taking the car is easier..." he murmured, taking his keys out. Geoff straightened out as he got to the car, but stopped as the light shone on a blood trail. It led to something, a pale looking ting that as hunched over with ripped clothing. He tilted his head to the side in curiosity, but was startled as he watched it turn around. Its white eyes gleamed in the dull lighting, its jagged teeth menacing and caked in thick blood. The men all collectively moved backwards slowly as all they could to is watch it stand up and listen to the piercing screech that it uttered. It almost magically seemed to have more spawn from the bushes that surrounded the parking lot, all running towards the gamers quickly yet very sloppily. It would have been comical if the things where not going after them for a snack.

They acted quickly, all running almost like chickens with no heads as they bumped into each other at first before sprinting in opposite directions. The horde seemed to be a bit confused before a couple went after Geoff, who was stupid and had fallen into a ditch in the nearby forest. He tripped into a ditch, rolling down and scraping himself on the rocks as he went. He stayed there, hearing one of  the things stop just above him, looking around with confusion. He tried not to make a sound as he looked up, almost pissing himself as he saw the thing, yet was thankful that it was turning around as it heard another sound not very far from him. He prayed that whatever it was that was drawing the monster loser towards them was just an animal or something that was an easy kill for the thing. 

However the sudden weight that was on top of him was other. The two squirmed and limbs slapped each other in the face before the light was shone into the other man's face. Geoff as relieved that it was only Ryan, laying back down on the ground heavily. He could feel the other remove himself from on top of him, haring a small mutter of an apology for falling on top of him. All the older did was wave him off, closing his eyes and let the rain it his face and soak his clothing. He relished in the silence and the peace from the sudden assault, but it did not help him much as he knew that he would have had to get up and start to move. Ryan stayed put, knowing that it would be useless to get up and start moving. He did not want to alert and endanger the both of them if he moved out from the ditch.

Ryan leaned against the dirt wall and waited for dawn to start moving.


	2. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter... I hope this is going to be a daily thing, updating this story. If it is not perhaps every other day. or really when I have time. But I am hoping for the first. So I am guessing you cans see another one tomorrow or if I am feeling generous today another today.

Once dawn has broken, the man slowly moved forward, taking a look around carefully. The first thing he had noticed that there was no Geoff, and that honestly terrified him. He had a feeling that the man both had abandoned him and ran off or those things had snatched him up and made a quick meal of him. Ryan shivered at the thought of that, hanging his head down in shame. He knew that eventually that he would have to start to go and find the rest of the group, his family that is if they survived. Standing, Ryan peered over the edge of the ditch and observed his surroundings. He could see a trail of blood, thin and fresh looking. Something that as bleeding came through this area, and despite all instincts screaming at him to not follow Ryan pushed them out and climbed out to follow the path.

He watched where he was walking, eyes half glued to the muddy ground and half around himself. In the distance, he could faintly hear someone yelling in pain and agony. His walking speed picked up a bit and he hid behind a tree, peering over and saw his boss hunched over two bodies; upon further inspection the younger could see that Geoff had dragged the two bodies out of the now abandoned building. Ryan covered his mouth with his hand, biting his lower lip hard as he could see who Geoff was grieving over. In the moment of silence he was in, the computer guy hung his head in respect. He only brought his gaze up to the other as he heard him stand up and start to yell profanities, kicking the ground and tugging at his short hair. Then collapsed to the ground. The elder was soon reduced to sniffles and hiccups after at least an hour, a few squeaks as if he wanted to keep yelling came out. He slowly turned around and brought the two bodies to himself tightly, kissing their foreheads repeatedly as if that would bring them back. He could feel more tears fall as he mutely cried.

When he knew it was okay to slowly reveal himself, Ryan carefully maneuvered himself around the tree and cautiously towards the weak man. The other was startled, holding the bodies tighter than he was and looking at the younger with a wild expression. He did not seem to notice that it was only Ryan, blinded by fear and sadness. The dirty blond put his hands up in surrender, slowly getting onto his knees next to Geoff, and stared at him with a meek smile. He could tell that the other was not at all going to calm down from this experience, but he knew the bodies were going to exploit where they were and those things were too sure to find them. He reached over to grab one of the bodies, but his hand was violently slapped away. Blue eyes darkened a little as he tried again, ignoring the stinging pain in his hand as he finally had a grip on an ice cold hand. He did not appreciate the hits as he gently removed the cadaver away. The cold blood felt heavy, hard to not think of it much as he moved away slowly.

"You know as much as I do that grieving over them will not bring them back... As much as it pains you, Geoff. They are dead... and it is best for you to bury them. If-" the other was quick to take the body back and tightly coddle it, stroking the matted blonde hair with possessiveness. He backed up, making sure to grab the smaller body before moving towards the building. The distressed man shook his head, sliding down the wall with his dead family in hands. Ryan looked at him sadly, looking at the ground in thought before going towards the other at a snail's pace. The other looked like he would bite his head off, so he took a few steps backwards and knelt back down with arms crossed tightly against his chest. He took a deep breath to calm himself and regrouped his thoughts so that he could be and hopefully more helpful towards the other.

“What would she want? Would she want you to be like this? Risk your own life on grief and pain? I know it seems stupid… I know. I am deeply sorrowful for your loss of your family. I am merely being blunt and direct here. I would want to get out and go and find the others before it’s too late. Do you not want to go and find them? I know you are scared,” he held out his hand, his small smile back, “but you have to come. We can bury them wherever you want to close by and stay for a little more before having to go. This is now survival. This is now finding the others and regrouping and getting past this together. C’mon Geoff…”

The elder just looked at him weirdly, and soon started to laugh. Not his usual cancer-curing laugh that brought all of them in a howl of pure joy. But one that sounded distressed, a wave of new tears came up ad ran down the old tracks that had dried on his cheeks. He spoke no more over a hoarse whisper, curling up tightly. “You know that those dicks are as well as gone, Mr. Optimistic. They all ran off somewhere. And at this rate we are all good as dead. I knew I should have went out of the group and had someone get you all to safety and I would have had them safe and alive and it would have been o-fucking-kay! I-“he stopped there as Ryan placed a firm hand over his mouth to stop the guilt ridden ramble. He shook his head and brought the other close, not into a hug but to make the other look at him directly and try and get through to him.

“You’re not listening. I am stressed out as well. I am not knowing if my wife and children are safe and alive or gone. I try to be Mr. Optimistic for the sake of both of our sanities,” his voice got stronger and he pulled himself and the other to their feet. He brushed the both of them off, taking the smaller of the two cadavers into a cradle like position. Ryan took in another deep breath, “I know you are sad. I know I am going to repeat myself during this. I do not care. Please. I will _beg_ if we do not start to go now. Let us bury them with respect in a comfortable spot. And talk about them in a good way to remember how they were. Not how their lives where cut so short.” Ryan carefully took out a pocket tissue pack from his pants pocket and handed it to Geoff before the other could reply to his words.

“No words as well until the burial is over. I do not want negativity now. It is a tough time now and all we can do is simply survive. Get passed everything hopefully with some… with some strength.” He continued, turning. He waited until the other was dried his tears and blew his nose to continue to speak, firmly taking his wrist after gathering the other body. Even though Geoff was quick to take her away, slowly moving closer as if the other was now the protector.

“C’mon… you choose a spot and let us get to it.” All the other did was nod silently and walked at a snail’s pace, leaning heavily against the younger for support.

He found a sunny spot, a few wildflowers dotted the area. He did not take long to drop back down to his dirty knees and lay the body down, kissing the cold forehead. “Here…” he muttered, “here is fine… they would have loved it…” he bit down on his lip, watching as Ryan laid the child down on the ground next to her mother. Geoff stood up and walked around picking the brightest and most beautiful flowers he could gather as Ryan got down to dig up graves. The older stood watch as the other did most of the labor, watching with a growing numbness as the other placed the two into the graves after wiping his dirtied hands onto his jeans. Then, the bearded man stepped forward and placed the flowers down, making it look like the two were holding the freshly picked bouquets.

Geoff stood up straight, not looking at Ryan as he spoke, “I would like to be alone…” he said slowly, his voice monotonous, “please… I will come back and find you… go back to the building and find supplies… I will be fine here… one last good bye.” Ryan stared at the other for a little longer before nodding in silence, turning around and went back to the building.

He looked around carefully, finding his bag he would take to work and started to fill it with needed supplies. A picture of his family he kept, folded neatly and placed into his front pants pocket, picture of Geoff’s family, Jack’s, any other mementos that were prized by each of the men. He found the whiskey bottle, barely even touched, on Geoff’s desk. Ryan was hesitant to take the bottle, but with shaking hands he placed it into his bag and continued onwards. He took one last look around his now former work place before going to grab more supplies from the rest of the building that he could grab.

Ryan eventually came back outside, seeing his former boss on the ground with his head in his dirt covered hands. The other jumped when a hand was clamped onto his shoulder and looked up with red, puffy eyes. HE gave a pathetic smile before standing up.

“Yeah… ready… said goodbyes…” he shook his head, not wanting the tears that threatened to fall to slip down. Or to go and start to sob and break down yet again. He forced himself to smile, “I don’t know where to start… just…” Geoff waved his hand, “just start somewhere… I bet they have not ran that far… those dicks are closed minded at times… Specially the lads…” there was that dry, painful sounding laugh yet again that pulled at Ryan’s heart. The younger only smiled sweetly and pulled his friend along at a slow pace.

* * *

From there, they stopped at a local store, seeing more ripped opened bodies strewn about. Having to shield both of their eyes so that they were not reminded about the most recent events. Especially Geoff when he could see a little girl, no more than how old Millie was, that was shredded apart. Her eyes and mouth still open, the smell of fresh blood was potent to their noses and it made both grown men gag with disgust. He tugged the other on as he noticed that he was beginning to stop to take a look around to see what was happening. But the hand that was over his eyes became firmer and he was under the complete control of the bigger. Ryan eventually stopped as he found a spot behind the store, letting go of Geoff and sighed heavily.

"I grabbed the pictures before we left..." he muttered, sitting down on the floor with his bag in front of himself. Ryan looked at the man, "would you like to see?" there was not a single reply or movement for that matter. It was uncomfortable and it seemed that the other was in some sort of trance. With another hefty sigh, the dirty blond looked in the direction of where Geoff was staring. He saw nothing. He stood up ad sat the other down close before he turned his attention to his bag and continued to sort out everything neatly in front of himself so that it was easier to take and remove things from the backpack.


	3. Had to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter. Yeah... It seems that you guys liked the other chapters...? Odd for me really... then again I am not used to having read or even look at my work and none the least like them. Thanks. It actually means a lot. And I am sorry for not having this chapter done yesterday... I will update two hopefully today to make up.

He was not the fittest of the group, always tripping even over the tiniest roots or even his shoe laces. Too scrawny and had the energy for sure, he was full of energy. But now was not some fun time with the lads. Now was a life or death situation.

He kept tripping and it cost him precious time, which was needed as there was those things running after him. The blind creatures swung their arms around madly in the attempt to grab the man and knock him down to attack. There snarls sent shivers down the lanky man's body, how he did not know nor cared at this point. Now was not the time to know why, not was a time to help himself and find some place to hide. He mentally cursed himself as he got more lost in the forest. The dirty blond looked back and noticed that they were coming closer and had no other choice than to climb up the tree next to him and sit on a high branch.

Green eyes fearfully looked down at the living corpses, covering his mouth so that he would not scream as he the tree was knocked against. The branch that he was on swayed a little, and the Brit held onto the trunk tightly and for dear life. By the time the creatures fled, most likely thinking that there was nothing up there anymore, it was mid-day and Gavin was practically shaking from the ear that they would come back. He knew that he could not stay there in the tree for long, and yet at the same time he did not want to go down to the ground as he did not know what was in the forest at this time of day. So, he settled into the crook of the branch and waited. And waited. And waited some more for anyone to come and prove that he was not alone. HE knew Michael had ran off somewhere, leaving him with no sort of help on the situation.

He had to be brave.

He had to be strong and prove that he was not some weak man that screamed a lot and did not need someone to tell him where to go.

He had to for himself.

Yet at the same time, he forced himself to climb down the tree, falling once he slipped on the last branch. He bounced on the ground, his arm making a sickening snap and he tried with all of his might now to cry out in agony. Gavin clutched his arm tightly even though it added to the pain, his lithe body trembling. He could feel tears prick the sides of his eyes, slipping down slowly. He stayed in his small fetal position before pushing himself to stand, clutching his broken arm close. He sniffled softly, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his shirt as he shuffled his way forward.

Thankfully, he was close to the edge of the forest soon and he was even more grateful that he was in a small town. He was starving and needed to somehow mend his broken arm that hurt so badly. Food was probably not going to be too bad of a thing as the town was abandoned and it looked like there was enough supplies to last him a long time. He cautiously entered one of the homes and went around looking for needed items. Gavin grabbed a back and began to stuff it with food, which took up a lot of the space. He picked up a butcher knife, turning it in his hands, and bit his lip. He thought it would be a good idea to have a weapon, yet at the same time he could just run and hid like he did before. The Brit stood there in stupor as he mulled over it, deciding that he would take it but only use it if he desperately needed to. He placed it carefully in his bag’s front pocket, the front handle sticking out for easy grabbing, and went on.

Gavin found the restroom, flicking the lights on and took a gander. He opened the closet door and rummaged through it, items falling onto the ground until he picked up a medical kit. He smiled, sitting down on the ground and opened it where his smile slipped as he saw that there was nothing. He stayed on the tiled floor for a long time before getting himself up, dropping the white box onto the ground and turned out towards the door. He walked out of the house, adjusting his bag as he went to the next house. He continued his search, only managing to find some ace bandages. He made a face, though shrugged it off as he was thankful to just found this. He tried to make sure that the bandage around the broken part of his arm was tight enough, though it seemed to be slipping every time he got up. Gavin sighed in frustration, trying once more before leaving it the way it was. HE walked out of the house and down the street.

He eventually reached another town, long into the night. From there, he found refuge in a tiny house. He did not bother in checking if it was okay to take a snooze in, simply finding the bedroom and flopped lazily onto the bed. He curled up and heavy eyes slipped shut slowly. The dirty blond stayed in the house for a few days until he started to walk aimlessly around in the poor attempt to find his friends.

Ryan would usually have to pull the older along as he would slack significantly behind himself. The bigger eventually stopped in the middle of the street, hearing both of their stomachs growl from hunger. Man that would be nice right about now. Hot meal and an ice cold beer. Ryan’s stomach growled louder at the fact, cheeks turning an embarrassing pink. He glanced towards the other, cheek puffing out as he saw once again that the other was sulking and walking at a slow pace.

“C’mon, Geoff… could you walk just a little faster? The faster you do the quicker we find shelter and a place to rest up…” he waited for the reply, but got the silent treatment and soon he other bumping unapologetic into his shoulder. Ryan looked to the ground, taking a few strides to catch up, and then glanced towards the elder. He could see how dark the other’s eyes where, how untrained. He looked like he could collapse at anymore and not ever get back up. So, Ryan took this into his matter and gripped the other by the shirt tightly. He picked up their walking speed a bit and took another quick glance look behind.

“I know you are upset… But… C’mon… at least have some energy… Your silence is freaking me out and I do not like that…” he could feel the piercing glare on the back of his head, but honestly could have gave less of a shit. He continued to walk until they reached a small town. He then went into each house to make sure that any of them was suitable for living and had at least some salvageable goods. He settled on a tiny home that’ door had to be picked opened. He set the depressed man on the couch, placing the bag next to him and looked around for safety measures.

Ryan came back and sat next to Geoff, patting the curled up man’s back comforting before placing his bag onto his lap.

“I think you will appreciate this…” he murmured, taking out a slightly wrinkled photo of Geoff, his wife and child. He handed the photo to the bearded man and leaned back into the couch with a weary glance towards the other. He watched as the other looked at the photo, turning it around to see a small message then back to the front. Ryan lowered his head as he saw the other begin to tear up. Still too sensitive about the subject.

The older let the picture fall to his lap and he brought his knees to his chest, fingers taught on his short hair as the memories that he thought he had under control by putting them behind a wall broke through. Geoff stood up slowly, not taking the picture with him as he walked away, obviously wanting to be alone despite the other following him. He scuffed his feet on the floor, producing a loud squeaking sound all the way towards the stairs and towards the bedroom; where he entered the small room and slammed the door shut. Ryan was startled as the door hit his face, rubbing his now red nose as he stared at the wooden barrier. 

Ryan pressed his forehead to the door and leaned heavily into it, feeling utmost guilt, "shit... Shit! I'm so sorry... I thought it would be a good thing to have something to remember them by and I thought it was alright... I..." he sunk down to the ground, running a shaking hand through his hair, "I'm sorry...”

There was no reply, the only sound that came from the room was Geoff getting up from the bed and walked over towards the door. Ryan moved back as if it was going to be opened before he heard the audible lock from the door. He frowned, hanging his head and sighed heavily.

The younger laid back after a while, staring up at the white ceiling with darkening eyes. He knew he had fucked up badly, and it hurt. He hated hurting anyone or anything may it be emotionally or physically; not that he was a physical person, perhaps the occasional playful punch but nothing more than that and only that. Though, this was like a massive blow to the head and he knew it with ever bone and fiber in his body that he truly just messed up and as days went by he could not get over it. And he did not know what to do as well, usually giving some sort of support from someone that was seeking it direly or even on rare occasions he was the person that was in need of help.

On the fifth day of stay in the small house, he was going around the house to get himself to think of something else. He would sometimes stare at the bedroom door where he could hear pacing and the sound of almost a small laugh. Ryan wanted to get the out of the room, yet at the same time he did not want to bother the distressed man from whatever he was doing.

Fuck it, Ryan decided after a moment of staring contemplatively in front of the door. He knocked on the door.

Once. No answer.

Twice. Again, a very thick silence that put him into a state of even more worry.

Third Time, there was footsteps coming towards and then stopped.

“What the fuck do you want?” came a snappish answer, making Ryan cringe at the sound of the coarse words. He took a deep breath before answering in a low, calm voice.

“Could you come out?” he waited for the other to reply, only meeting a silence he filled with words as he continued to speak, “You’ve been in there for a while… and maybe for now it is a good time to come out?” there was a snort.

“Please, Geoff…” he said, voice significantly getting lower. Instead of another snort there was a laugh, the door squeaking open. Dark blue eyes were narrowed as they peered over the side of the door.

“Why?” he inquiry, head tilting to the side as he tried to sound strong. Yet he and the other knew too well that it was obvious that he was no longer that and was a weak man that could not find a stance.

“I’m _worried_ about you. You are my friend and I want you to come out. I… I don’t want to drag you out. I mean,” He laughed, almost nervously, “I will if I have to just for you to get out and see the world.” He crossed his arms against his chest, coming a little closer, “I just want this to be easy right now… Alright…? I have not been able to think properly because I was so fucking worried about you,” he could see the other jump a little as he cursed, “Don’t give me this bull shit anymore, Geoff. I have seen things in the past days out the window that no man should see.” Ryan moved away, shrugging, “but you would have not known as you are so cooped up in this bedroom, sulking because of loss. Like I said, I am sorry. I know I sound so fucking heartless and I try and not to be. But for now I need to be to get my damn point across and through your thick skull.”

The dirty blond turned around, “Come out once you are ready to.” With that he started to walk down the corridor. He sent a quick glance behind himself, looking away as he watched the door close.

On day ten, he needed to go out of the house to clear his mind and get rid of the cabin fever. He walked up the street, the quiet morning was awkward for him but he took gratitude in being outside and not having to run for his life. He sat down on a boulder not too far from the house so he could keep watch and stared out into nothing, letting the sun hit his skin and warm him. Though, it really did not warm him as he still felt like a complete ice cube.

A big, stupid, full of worry ice cube.

Ryan leaned back and looked at the sky, fluffy clouds moving across the sky. He would occasionally look towards the house to see if someone was going to sneak in or something. Though after a while that started to become somewhere in the back of his head, eyes becoming unfocused and he zoned out completely.

He snapped out of it when he heard footsteps come close to him, sitting up quickly and stared at the oncoming person wrapped in a thick blanket. Ryan calmed down when he identified it as Geoff, giving a meek smile before laying back down.

“See that you are out of the house finally…” he muttered, draping his arms around his abdomen. Geoff sat down on the ground, hiding under the blanket.

“I… just needed air… nothing more…” he leaned against the rock, tightening the blanket around himself more.

It took a second to realize that the other’s voice was hoarse. Perhaps rom crying again, Ryan concluded with not much thought. It was the most logical thing that he could. He knew that the other was not stupid enough to hurt himself, tough being naïve that was. He honestly did not know if he did or not, having no remembrance of hearing really much. Ryan chewed on his bottom lip, turning so that he was laying down and face to blanket with the other. He said nothing, just staring at the quilt before patting the other’s head and looked back up.

He squinted as he saw a figure walking towards them, holding his arm and was looking very confused on where he was located. Ryan sat up, leaning forward as he tried to figure out who the person was that was walking towards them.


	4. Found one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> promised other chapter. Thanks so far for reading uvu much appreciated.. It's going to be short though.. maybe just about 1,000 words or so one of the smaller chapters I plan. It wont be that way tomorrow, only for this one as it is late now sorry umu

He was tired, hungry and wanted to sit down and stop for a moment. Yet he was still in the middle of fuckville. Grand place, really, as all there was housing that was the same throughout and nature. He shook his head as he began to feel dizzy, stopping a few times to shake his head and force himself to keep going. Gavin looked up from the asphalt and could just see a couple of figures. Maybe figments of his imagination. Bad hallucination like from a bad high from shit quality drugs. He continued, colors bleeding into another slowly before refocusing with the shake of the head.

The Brit did not stay on his feet for much longer, falling to his knees and stayed there. He watched as one of the figures started to come close to him, eyes narrowing to focus on the person. He could almost feel a smile come up as he saw who it was, but was not awake for long as he passed out from exhaustion.

Ryan stopped as he was in front of the body, kneeling down and examined the smaller. Broken arm, bruises, scratches. Dark circles under his eyes. Pale. Sickly. HE was out for too long and most likely forgot to take care of himself. Stupid child. The older took him into his arms and carried Gavin carefully back to the house, remembering to get Geoff from next to the rock.

The eldest looked at his housemate, who was laid down on the couch.

“Is he bit?”

“I am not knowing…. I am not thinking that he is….” Ryan muttered, now checking carefully. He saw no bite marks or any sort of scratches from one of those things. He did not bother with telling Geoff, simply going and tried to help the black and blue arm.

Though the most he could do was tighten the ace bandage and elevate the limb.

Ryan sat down on the ground and leaned against the sofa, looking towards the other two. He was starting to feel more comfortable now that at least one was found and safe. A soft mile came across his lips as he brought his legs up to his chest and looked at his knees.

After about an hour, Gavin had woken up. He blearily looked around, not daring to sit up as he knew his body would have most definitely protested painfully. So, he brought a heavy arm to his eyes and rubbed them to wake up more. The smell of food was becoming increasingly prevalent and his stomach growled loudly. There was a small noise that came from the kitchen, Ryan setting a bowl of warmed up soup in front of Geoff before he walked towards the Brit. He helped the younger sit up, propping him up with pillows and tried to get him as comfortable as possible.

“Glad you are okay…” he softly stated, placing the bowl of food on Gavin’s lap. Even though his arm was heavy as hell, he was too eager to eat and took the spoon and ate rather quickly. Ryan stood, going to the kitchen to grab a napkin. He handed a few that he managed to find and gave it to the other before sitting back down.

Geoff had stopped eating after a few bites, now playing with his food idly. “Yeah… glad to see you…” he muttered, cutting into the silence. He pushed his bowl away and rested his head on the table, blankly looking towards the other two. Gavin swallowed the warm food and looked quizzically at Geoff, puffing out a cheek.

“What’s wrong with you, hm?” voice was harsh and ill sounding, congested and slow. Not the usual pep he had not a month ago.

Ryan shook his head as he watched Geoff turn his back towards them. It took a moment for Gavin to process, still not really getting it though he left it there and continued to eat.

The silence became thick, awkward. Ryan took the bowl once Gavin was done and went to go and place it in the sink, standing in front of the sink for a moment before looking out the window. He squinted, seeing something staggering towards the house. Odd, more people. Did Gavin meet others and they did not know about? OR did they follow them?

He looked back towards the youngest and thought against that. The other was too ill and stupid to even attempt that. So who would that have been practically running towards the home. The growling he could hear was getting louder and soon Ryan was walking towards the door to close and lock it, making sure it was secure before turning to look back out the window to see where those things had gone.

It did not seem to be there anymore. He looked confused, shaking his head and thought of it as nothing. Sleep. That is what he needed.

So, he told the others that he was going to take a nap and that wake him if needed to run or something urgent.


	5. Secrets cannot be told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter... Did not really seem to matter much though did it as you guys still miraculously like this story... Heh.
> 
>  
> 
> I do have a question for you guys, that is if you are wanting to say. Should this story have a couple in it? Like Geoff/Gavin or Team Love and Stuff or whatever. 'cause I was thinking of that before hand and I do not know if it is okay to put such things in it- as I do not want people to be offended and I would like to hear what you have to say about such thing.

Gavin looked towards the man as he walked away, rather confused about how he was so quick to close the door or the puzzled look on his face as he stared out the door. He gave a hard cough as he sat up, looking towards Geoff blankly.

“Do you know what’s wrong with him? Has Ryan been like this for a long time now?” he asked, yawning after the last word. HE scratched the back of his head and slouched in his seat, legs spread and arms lazily folded across himself.

The elder shrugged, standing up and went towards the bag that Ryan had been carrying around since they found it. He rummaged through it before taking the liquor bottle. Gavin, on the other hand, honestly had not a clue that the other was going to sit back down and drink from the bottle with hard, long sips.

“At this point in time I do not care. Luck and life is really just a fucking dick right now,” he had said, taking another gulp before putting the bottle down onto the kitchen table, “I don’t care if that doesn’t answer your question Gavin so don’t even think about it.” The man in statement promptly shut his mouth after for just a quick second before speaking.

“But I want an answer… and what’s wrong with you? Like… you aren’t the usual giddy arse,” the bearded man narrowed his eyes and shook his head, letting out a stiff ‘hah’ before turning his back towards the other. That just fueled the Brit’s curiosity even further, “c’mon, Geoffers… what’s wrong? Tell-“

“I will not tell you anything! You do not need to know. The only one that does is Ryan and I will like to keep it like that thank you very fucking much. Now get out of my fucking hair already! I do not want to be fucking pestered by you. I don’t want to give you any answers and I don’t see it as fit to just straight up tell you. Just… just fuck off.” He snapped, snatching his bottle and angrily walked towards the enclosed porch, slamming the door shut behind himself. Gavin looked at the retreating other, hanging his head and got up wobbly.

He made crawled up the stairs, honestly not knowing what to do, so he went to go and check on Ryan to see how he was holding up. He bet he was okay, as the man was a strong fellow. Or at least how he perceived him.

A fellow that he honestly thought that he was not liked by, intelligent, wise.

He stopped in front of the door and knocked on it.

No answer.

So he tried again and he listened more carefully. Gavin as able to hear quiet footsteps coming towards the door, and he stepped back a little as the door opened a bit.

“Hm… what?” Ryan rubbed his eyes, “what are you doing out of the couch…? Go sleep…” the dirty blond shook his head.

“I can’t… I can’t sleep anymore,” he stepped forward which caused Ryan to step backwards a few paces, “please… please tell me. What happened?”

“I’ll tell you some other time… Go ask Geoff… or somethin’. I’m too tired to think right now and honestly just wanna sleep some more… sorry, Gav.” But the younger did not move away to adhere to the command, but moved closer as he was too persistent.

“I want to know, Ryan… Please. I’m seriously so confused why he is acting like this and it’s peeving me off that no one is bloody telling me what happened when I was gone,” he coughed, taking a moment to think about his words after coughing, “I-“

“I said no, Gav… It is not in my right to say what had happened as this mostly involves Geoff. Now even if the man is stubborn and upset, he has the right to be. Just leave him alone, okay? I know it’s hard. It’s hard for all of us right now. Just go and get more sleep and get your strength back up. I have a feeling we need to start moving… Alright?” but stubborn Gavin stayed where he was, leaning a it onto his right foot more and huffed.

“No. I don’t want to be in the back. I’m going to stay here until you tell me.”

Ryan sighed, turning around and walked back towards the bed and sat upon it, “fine… have fun sitting there. Don’t come crying and whining and pulling a fucking you when time goes slow with no answer that you are not needing. This shit does not need to be known by you. It does not involve you. So shut up already about it,” he gave a short laugh, laying back with is arms above his head, “You are annoying when you pester like this. I would love it if you would just sit down and keep quiet. I really want just to be alone in thoughts. Or really be fucking helpful and go out instead of having to sit around looking after stupid Geoff and now you! I really wish you would go and do what I say instead of being stupidly stubborn like a bull or watch over Geoff or something useful and not that usual screaming idiot that you are.” He said the last couple of words with bitterness and hissed through his clenched teeth.

Gavin sunk down to the ground and fiddled with his bandages until they started to unravel unknowingly, “you didn’ have to be an arse about it…” there was another short laugh from Ryan, “really… sorry for wanting to freakin’ know.” He stood up and began to leave, “whatever…” the other looked at him and rolled his eyes, tiredly getting himself up and walked sluggishly to Gavin. He took him by the good arm and fixed the bandages on the bad one.

“Don’t be a fuck and take those words wrong. I am merely saying not for you to take them to heart. Take them to consideration, alright?” he backed away, “I am telling you these things so that you know what you could do instead of pestering me about what had happened before hand. It’s the past. It’s nothing now for you. And if you have a problem with that please. I could care yet care less at the same time.” Gavin huffed, letting his arm flop to the side when the other was done fixing the bandage.

He turned around and continued to walk away stiffly, seeing the eldest laying on the table in the porch. The Brit stopped at the door, watching the other carefully. He could smell the booze that the other had drank. The small hiccups, how he laughed stupidly at times. He knew that Geoff was either really tipsy or just drunk, something that was not uncommon but was very odd to manage. Especially since he was usually the partner in crime in getting drunk with the other. He found his spot on the kitchen counter, hunched over and half watching the man like what Ryan had aid to do. Well really he had nothing else to do. He did not want to go out for a walk as it was starting to get dark out. And most likely the television was not working, and even if it was Ryan would probably throw a fit about it being too loud and something that would bring attention to their small and defenseless home.

Boredom overcame him and he began to pace around the silent home. He saw that Geoff was long passed out, dragging his body inside ad closed the door. He kept the other on the floor with a blanket over him and a small pillow under his head. Gavin then went back upstairs, seeing how Ryan was curled up in bed. Uncomfortably that is, seeing him twitch and move around a bit, dreaming about something. Yet Gavin knew that the smart man would not say a thing about his dreams. Even if it was obviously plaguing him and it seemed to cause stress. He eventually found himself in a tiny room right next to where Ryan was, looking around lazily before snuggling under the pillows. He did not fall asleep, staying up only because he was restless and honestly felt uneasy being in someone, someone that most likely was dead, home.

Gavin stared at the wall, eyes becoming unfocused as he waited for everyone else to wake up.


	6. Moving

The first to wake up from there slumber was Geoff, who was stiffly sitting up and blearily looking around. He had a bad taste in his head, which pounded horribly. He had an urge to drink more to make this feeling wash away, but he could hear footsteps walk towards the living room. Geoff moaned in pain, curling up and covered his head with his arms. Ryan stopped as he saw the other in pain, rushing over towards him before picking up on the smell of the booze. He looked saddened.

“Hey… did you drink all of that?” he murmured, trying to be very quiet. He knew how the other was when hung over. Complaining and the urge to drink more and more until the feeling was away and he was nothing more than a sad drunken man.

There was a small nod, a hand groping around and pulled the blanket rom the couch and put it over his head. He wanted to be along with nothing more than a closet and a bottle. But it seemed that the other had a different story to do. He felt himself behind picked up and placed over the couch. He was tucked in tightly.

“Now the plans would have to wait until tomorrow… or until you are okay to go out and find a new location and more supplies and shit.” Ryan sat on the ground, flopping to the ground heavily. He stayed there for a moment before getting up and went to go and see what he could make something for breakfast for the three of them. He found some bread, having some thought about there being no electricity. So he tried, and found himself right. So, he simply nibbled on plain bread as he was too hungry to care.

“I… give me more… I want more of it… I don’t want to feel anything. I…” Ryan threw his food at the other so that he would stop talking.

“Just stop there. You drank what alcohol we had. There’s nothing in this house. And being more drunk with a worse hang over is a big fucking no.” he went over and picked the half eaten bread up from Geoff’s face and went to go and throw it out. HE glared at the older as he opened his mouth. “No.”

Geoff groaned loudly and huffed, turning around and curled up tightly. Soon, Gavin came out of the bedroom tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he muttered ‘god morning’ to the other two. He found himself sitting down on the floor.

“When are we goin’?” came the tired words.

“… Now. We go now.” Ryan took his bag, though he made sure to sneak a few of Gavin’s mementos from the office building into his bag before handing it over to the Brit.

Geoff made another loud moan as he was dragged from the couch, kicking around a bit before allowing Ryan to pull him to his feet and walk him out of the house after making sure they grabbed everything.

They walked down the street, still holding onto Geoff’s wrist and occasionally making sure that Gavin did not fall behind. He would stop occasionally just for a break, sitting on the ground and just stared out into the opened. He was starting to become increasingly distance as the days went on, obvious as he stopped talking to either of them on the third day. It seemed not to bother either, as Geoff was practically now a human sack of potatoes and Gavin was just barely able to keep his strength up. The usually peppy man was getting slower as night came around and eventually stopped in front of the gas station that they were in front of. He leaned against the supporting post of the roof over the gas pumps, sliding down.

“Rest… need to rest…” he muttered, head tilting back and eyes closing slowly. Ryan, on the other hand, wanted to keep going. Yet at the same time he could feel Geoff start to sink down to the floor as well.

With a hefty sigh, he got Gavin to his feet and walked towards the convenience store, entering with much caution. There was some supplies to last a couple days, couple days to take and to keep going after this short night break. He let the others go before taking a more careful look around. He only found a broken bottle yet nothing else, so he went back to the two and sat down.

He noticed that Gavin was fast asleep, Geoff as staring out into space. Ryan stayed up this time to keep watch, not trusting the area for the life of it. He turned around and looked out the large windows in search for any sort of movement, ready to get the others up and escape as quietly and quick as possible. He hoped he did not have to, though, as Gavin looked content on sleeping and Geoff to have their thick and awkward silence back, the man looking a bit sick from the alcohol chug from the night before. Ryan leaned against the shelf, taking in a deep breath before exhaling it slowly to relax himself a bit. Yet he was still tensed, too ready for anything. Too anxious about what was going on.

And he did not like it.

He wished that there was something to bring this anxiousness down without causing much of a problem in the enclosed area. He could see cigarettes near the cash register. Perhaps tomorrow he would start up that addiction again even if it was a bad thing. At the same time he did not care. They were all going to die sooner or later, right? Why not make sure that it was close so that it was not prolonged any further and hurt them in the long run. He thought about the others, though. Maybe it was a bad idea, even if he was to smoke somewhere else. The smell would stain his breath and clothing. Maybe it as a bad yet good idea.

The dirty blond made a face, scratching the bad and decided it was a good idea with bad after effects.

He did not care.

He gave a small nod to himself before focusing back on the outside world.


	7. addictions

Once morning had come around, Ryan carefully removed Gavin’s head from his lap and stood up. He backed way slowly trying not to make a sound as he walked over towards the cash register and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He counted what was in there, then the rest of the boxes that where on the shelf. Good amount to take, even if it was a high enough to raise suspicion about if another were to see. As quietly as he was able to be, the man walked outside and a bit away from the gas station, hitting the pack on his wrist a few times before taking a cig and placed it carefully between his lips. He flicked on the lighter, and lit the cigarette. He took in a long drag, the hot smoke burning his throat and caused him to cough as he removed it.

It has been a long time since he had done this and it brought back many familiar memories. He took another drag, the warmth after several long drags became less and less painful and more relaxing. The dirty blond sat on the ground, taking another after there was only a smoldering bud left. He smoked another and another until his shoulders were relaxed and he was calm looking for the first time in a long time. He barely even crossed a glance towards the convenience store to make sure that the others were still safe and not going to be in any short of harm.

Once it was mid-day, Gavin had woken up with a stretch. He was till tired, obviously, though he was less than the day before hand. He looked around, seeing how Geoff was still asleep and upon further inspection there was no Ryan. And it alarmed him greatly. Standing quickly, though being dizzy for a few seconds but still continued. He eventually found the man outside, eyebrow rose as he smelt the cigarettes on him.

“Ryan?” the man jumped, and he looked back at the British man with wide eyes. Caught too soon and he did not know what to say or do, knowing that he could not simply let this slide and put off to the side.

“w-what…?” he asked, voice wavering as he watched the other get closer. Ryan sat up and moved away, soon standing up and backed away. His voice got a little louder and a bit faster, “what… are you going to criticize me for taking a smoke? Do you find that wrong?” Gavin stopped in his place, looking down to the ground briefly before back at the other.

“… Why?”

“Why what? Why I want to? Why does it matter? Why should you care?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Well…” Gavin started, kicking his feet on the ground, “you are my friend… I care about you and I just think that smoking and cutting your life shorter is just not right… Least to me…”

Ryan laughed, walking back over towards his spot and grabbed his cigarettes, carefully placing them in his bag and slug it over his shoulder. “I have reasons. I do not need to be telling you my thoughts at this current time. Now we must move. We have been here for only the night and we need to keep going. So please. Do a favor and grab Geoff and I’ll get more things.”

The younger just watched the other in silence, knowing that with all the power he had that was capable, he had nothing over the other and his sudden deadly choices. So really all he could do was nod his head and sluggishly walk a bit away behind the other as they went back to the shop. From there, he walked over towards the slumbering man and shook him so that he would wake up. The man moaned, wiggling around with heavy limbs before he cracked opened his eyes. Geoff gave a small yawn, narrowing his eyes as he sleepily looked at Gavin.

“Huh…?” he stretched his arms and legs, “Not moving now… Tired…” he turned away and curled up, eyes closing. Gavin rolled his eyes and sat the other up even if it bothered the elder.

“Ryan wants us to go. We need to get going…” he scrunched up his face, reluctantly and sleepily getting up and shuffling behind Gavin towards Ryan. He rubbed his eyes and leaned against the youngest for some sort of support so that he would not flop over.

The dirty blond walked out, barely talking into consideration about the other two as he took lead. He would make sure that when he had an urge to smoke that he was far enough away from the others so that the smoke would not be really that noticeable. The smell was, but when questions were asked there as not a straight answer or simple shrugs. Once in a while, Gavin would walk a little closer to see how Ryan was doing, though he was quick to be shoved away and ignored. It hurt a lot, but the Brit tied not to show it and tried to help Geoff distract himself instead of looking around almost lost like. He could tell that the older was started to either give up from the internal fighting from what happened with his family or was really just tired and not wanting to try and walk anymore. It was sad really, but there was nothing to do and it really bothered him. He wanted to help the others somehow. He did not want Ryan to start a terrible addiction that he poorly hid or have Geoff suffer in silence to the point it was affecting him. It began to now affect Gavin, and the usually peppy man was starting to slow down significantly.

Gavin watched as Ryan took out his second cigarette in the last ten minutes, making a face as he watched the older sat onto the ground. Took another drag and watched as the gray ashes fall to the ground. He looked towards Geoff, seeing how spaced out he was and was not paying any attention to the man smoking a few feet away. It sort of bothered him. This entire silence and how distant everyone was. Or how that no one talked about what happened to Geoff and why he was not his usual self. Or why Ryan was so stressed looking all the time. Gavin pulled at his hair a little in frustration, stopping a moment and watched the two walk ahead. He did not follow for some time, noticing that neither had picked up that he was temporarily missing.

That made him mad, silently though. He decided to join their little game and mentally told himself to stop telling what was wrong with him. Maybe even stop talking as there was nothing really to talk about. And it seemed that now it was obvious that his voice and how he was just annoying everyone. HE did not want to dip this low, but it seemed for the best in his opinion. Every time he decided to open his mouth he would pinch himself in the arm and promptly closed his mouth. He would occasionally get a weird glance from Geoff, though it was pushed to the side. Gavin tied to ignored everyone now, uncharacteristically distancing himself from the two and looked towards the left to keep himself occupied.

Ryan eventually stopped yet again, spatting on the ground and looked around. It was too quiet and it was starting to get to his head. Slowly, he looked towards Gavin and Geoff, and then looked away. His jaw clenched and hands began to shake slightly, swallowing thickly before shaking his head. No, he mentally told himself as he yearned to just break this awkward silence. He could tell that there was something wrong with Gavin. And Geoff was just picking at the sides of his thumbs until they bled. It seemed there was a running theme after a while.

Keep silent and keep to yourself.

And he could feel himself start to hurt, just like Gavin, from it. They used to be so close. But after the incident and the first encounter, everything was distant and everyone was in their own little world.

Ryan stopped again, looking around the area and saw how there was nothing to go and take shelter. And it was getting dark rather quick. With a heavy sigh, he forced himself to keep walking, dragging the other two along behind himself at this point as he saw how sluggish they were getting.

He eventually stopped finally once he located a cave. He dragged the two into the cave and sat at the mouth of the cave silently.

“Sleep… I don’t care. I’ll watch…” he muttered, his deep voice cutting through the silence harshly. Ryan coughed, leaning against the wall.

Gavin did not fall asleep, though, staying up as he did not trust him to keep awake as he looked exhausted.

 


	8. Terror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not going to put a long chapter as soon I have things to do. So in the short time that I have, this came up for my daily chapter thing.

The night was scary to be alone, only having a small pistol with you and a few bullets was not enough to take on the night. It caused him panic, the fear lodging into his throat and caused him to have difficulty breathing. The invisible entity would become lax, but with time it would constrict and make the curly haired man spiral into an attack. He did not have such attack in a long time. Years even. It was long so over something stupid really now that he could just barely remember. But now it was not so stupid. He was alone with himself with no one to talk to or have really much of a choice other than to force himself to think of his never ending thoughts.

It did not help that he was attacked beforehand, the familiar looking zombie caused him to hesitate on killing her. But a job was to be done and he had to survive until the next day. See if he could hook up with anyone or even better find one of his friends in this new world. It was hard to just do that, walking around aimlessly. See dead animals that had succumbed to the disease. Or bodies riddled with bullet holes. Hands that were bloodied and detached from an opened cadaver not too far away.

Michael would have honestly vomited if it was not for anything in his rumbling stomach.

The man found a convenience store soon, running with the little strength he had. His chest tightened as he saw that it was already raided and that whoever was there first had taken just about all the important items. He was lucky to find a few nutritional bars that were left behind, almost hidden from sight as if the person or group was to come back. Michael did not care as he grabbed one and wolfed eh cardboard tasting food down until they were all gone.

He sat down on the floor, looking blankly at his gun and then his surroundings, then back to the weapon. He had nothing else to do other than to just wait. And wait. And hope that perhaps someone would see him, hopefully not a threat, and take the man into their group with pity.

He was lost in his thoughts again, the familiar tightness in his throat came back and it made it hard to breathe, feeling himself start to get light headed really quickly. The room was spinning and it felt like everything was coming at him to fast.

All of his thoughts.

His hate and terror of death and being alone when he wanted to be with all of his friends again, even if it was never shown. He saw them as his family. And he did not want to be away from them anymore as it pained him on the thought of seeing them like he did with Lindsay. That was brutal on its own.

Michael flopped down to cold ground, his breathes harder and his heart was pounding mercilessly in his ears. Tears came down his cheeks, touching his numb face with cold hands to try and get some sort of reality on the world around him. Though it did not last long as he was too light headed to hear or see the person coming through the door.

 

Ryan was coming back into the shop once he knew that the other two were still asleep. He needed to grab more cigarettes before continuing on. The sobbing, however, was making him uneasy. The breathing none the least ad the man looked around carefully He stopped when he saw Michael, who had tried to calm himself down but was obviously struggling and looked like he was going too passed out soon. Ryan came closer slowly, dropping his bag and knelt down next to the younger. He did not touch him, only stared as he did and could really do nothing as he had no clue what to do. He waited until the other was unconscious before picking him up and held him tightly. He stood up after getting himself together, picked up his bag and walked back to the cave quickly.


	9. weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small chapter yesterday. I was watching RTSalute stream all day and had a couple of other things to do. Hopefully this chapter is much much longer.
> 
> Comments are good still, just a friendly reminder uvu  
> I am still wondering if I should add a paring unu I am not sure if I should add one or two, or make this a AHO6 or something like that... Or should I keep it all friendship and fluffy friends and stuff like that?

Ryan had dropped to his knees when he was in the mouth of the cave, laying the auburn haired man on is back. He placed two fingers on the carotid artery, feeling the weak pulse.

Though he was more thankful that Michael was alive.

The dirty blond looked up as Gavin woke up, watching out from under his bangs as he looked down at Michael. The sleepy looking man stretched, rubbing his eyes and scratched the back of his head. HE squinted as he looked towards the mouth of the cave. He tilted his head to the side as he saw Ryan looking through someone’s jacket. He moved closer, eyes widening a little as he saw who it was the older was looking over. A big grin went across his face as he latched onto Michael and held onto him tightly. Ryan made a face, tempted to separate them to continue his search. Though he could also see that the younger was nearly in tears and held the unconscious body even more.

Eventually the older had enough of watching it and pulled Michael away from Gavin, who made a loud whine that woke up Geoff. Ryan laid the man down and continued to look over the body. He placed a firm hand on Gavin’s chest and pushed him back when he tried to take his friend back. There was another whine that caused Geoff, who was groggy with sleep and very irritable, to smack him on the back of the head.

“Shut up,” came the snappish words, smacking Gavin again in the back of the head again when the Brit opened his mouth to speak, “No. Shut. Up. Just shut up.” The man hung his head low to the ground and laid down on the ground next to Michael.

Geoff watched and rose an eyebrow, shaking his head. He moved away from the three and flopped back onto the ground. “Just say when we have to go ‘cause I don’t wanna get the fuck up. You dicks need to keep it the fuck down as well. He starts to whine, he isn’t gonna be around so I am just saying.” Was a muttered threat, really a watered down threat that had no real danger to the words. The man went back to sleep.

Ryan could only nod and continue to look at Michael for any wounds. He moved his hands away as he felt a twitch, eyebrow raised as he watched the man open his dark eyes. Michael looked around the small cave slowly, his body tensing up as he did not know where he was at all. He could not see much as he had a crack that went through his glasses. Even if it was not racked, he was too high strung still and he attempted to move away. A firm hand brought him back to the original spot and let go of him afterwards as he felt him start to shake. It was weird to see a usually very loud and blunt man so startled and nervous. Ryan pulled him back again when Michael tried to move away, though stopped after he was glared at.

“L-leave me the fuck alone! I already fucking said no!” he yelled, most likely getting confused with someone else because of how fucked up his glasses were. Michael struggled to sit up, succeeding after a moment, getting into Ryan’s face. He visibly jumped when he was hugged yet again, looking back at Gavin with squinty eyes.

“Michael…” he murmured, holding him tightly. The older tilted his head to the side as he heard the familiar voice, but did not look to happy as he finally realized who it was.

“Let go of me.” The Brit did not do as he was told, only being held tighter. He jabbed his elbow in the other’s face, weakly though so it did not hurt much. It did cause a trickle of blood to come down Gavin’s nose.

“Michael… take it easy. You just woke up and…” he just stopped there as all he got was another glare and the bird. He raised his hands.

“Just leave me alone…” he repeated, shaking his head, “let go of me and leave me alone… I…  I want to be alone…”

It was obvious that the other was not okay. That he was in dire need of the other three even if it was a long time when they were together. But he was too afraid to care and he was not in a good mood to be comforted or touched or stopped. Michael wiggled his way out of the tight grip and moved towards the exit. He batted away the hand that touched his leg and sat outside in a ball. He looked towards the others and shook his head as he noticed that Gavin was trying to get close again. It hurt him though, but he did not trust anyone now enough to be touched. The others would have to gain it back yet again, which would be a very long time. He knew it would be painful to watch what his friends were try and get close to him again or try and talk to him about what had happened, but he felt uneasy talking about what had happened.

Gavin laid down, still looking at Michael sadly. “… Michael,” he whimpered, though there was no reply like how it was in the beginning. Gavin wrapped himself in his lanky arms and buried his head into his thighs as he could no longer look at the other, who seemed to distance himself even further.

Ryan looked between the two and sighed, not wanting to go towards Michael as he did not need him to run off. HE did, however, wake up Geoff and told him quietly to get his things and for them to start going. Ryan got himself, Geoff and Gavin up off the ground and slung his bag onto his shoulders. He got the other two to walk ahead of him, taking his time as he watched Michael look at them as they went by. He could hear him getting up and following once they were far away from him, glancing back and saw that the curly haired man was towards the shadows but was at what the other thought was a comfortable distance to go, having prominent problems with walking and standing in general. Perhaps that he really wanted to be with them even if it was clear that he wanted to be alone. Ryan sighed, looking back and sometimes looking at Michael to see if he had not ran off. After a while, though, he stopped and turned around. He went over to Michael cautiously, stopping when the other was backing up.

“C’mon… I know you want to come with us…” his voice was small and quiet, his new addiction was screaming at him at this point and he knew he had to take a smoke sooner or later. He reached out with a shaking hand, smiling at the younger, “We’re not going to harm you, Michael… No fear is needed. It will be okay.” But he did not move, only stood still against the tree.

The gent slowly lowered his arm, shrugging off his bag, “suit yourself…” he turned around as he took out a pack and then his lighter. He lit up a smoke and took a long puff, slow to walk away. He heard the faulted steps, and rolled his eyes. He could hear the other make sounds as if he was talking, but he was too far ahead to make the sounds out. That caused Michael to huff and walk a little closer and got louder.

 

“Don’t do that you idiot.” That time Ryan definitely heard, as well the others as they turned around. Ryan hopefully did not see the cigarette that he hid behind his back. He walked a lot slower as the suspicion but slowly faded as the two ahead continued to walk, and talked between just the two of them. Ryan let out a small breath of relief, taking a long drag to calm himself down before crushing the hot bud in is hand. It hurt, but he tried not to mind as he wiped away the ashes before shoving his hands in his pockets. He still felt the urge for another but he kept it at one, wanting to save the rest.

He jolted as he felt a hand on his shoulder, looking down and saw the dark brown eyes glaring at him. The freckled man stopped him and brought him down so that he could whisper into his ear.

“You need to stop doing that,” he brought him close again as Ryan attempted to move away, “No. Listen to me. You need to stop that now. It’s disgusting,” how contradicting, he thought, “and it attracts those things. Trust me. I have _seen_ how quick those things swarm.” He pushed the taller away and began to walk backwards, arms crossed against his chest, “the others won’t notice. Too stupid. I bet they smell it on you but don’t think of it as much. Sooner or later they need to know or get help….” He became quiet after that, waiting for the other to start to walk again after standing there for a while before himself continued.

The group stopped not too far from another town, a tinier one that was riddled with bodies. The stench was horrendous and the sight made all of the grown men gag. Since he was already weak from the lack of sleep and barely eating, especially after smoking, Ryan had to walk a lot slower just so that he would not fall on top of one of the many decomposing people on the ground. He could barely keep his head up as he moved around the piles. He covered his mouth and nose as he smelt something burning, knowing it was not his lighter. It smelt rotten and almost like burning flesh from an animal? No. It could not. There was no farms around and all he could see was roads, cars and bodies.

He stopped and turned around in a half circle before spotting a large pile of bodies in a burning mass grave. He could feel his stomach twist and flip uncomfortably, yet he could not tear his gaze away from the scene. The fumes was starting to get to him. Soon, he was being pushed to get going by Michael, who was breathing through his mouth and kept his eyes as forward as he could.

“Keep going… Don’t look… just… go….” He muttered, catching Ryan as he was about to fall over from being pushed too hard.

The smell was present still even a miles away from the mass grave. The dirty blond stopped several times to recollect his thoughts and put his mind to something else. He felt himself being dragged along now, taking too much time in Michael’s opinion. He felt weak, though, and had to lean against the shorter for a bit of support.

“You’ve forgotten to eat… haven’t you? You look honestly like shit…” he muttered, “and pale looking… are you fine? You didn’ catch my sick…” Ryan shrugged, “or you did…. Whatever… bet either way you’ll be fuckin’ over it or not since you are a pussy…”

Geoff had overheard the conversation and turned around, walking backwards slowly, “Stupid Ryan hasn’t eaten in a shit long time. He says he ‘wants us to be stronger and that it is really stupid’. Or some shit. The idiot just doesn’t get it.”

“You don’t understand either…” Ryan muttered, though Geoff just gave a short, humorless laugh, “No… Seriously… you don’t understand the method to my madness so ultimately you won’t understand why I do what I do… None will…” he pulled away and began to branch off from the others. He did not listen to any as he heard his name being called, simply walking along and soon past Gavin.

Geoff groaned loudly, shaking his head as he went back to his thoughts, fingers twitching and sometimes picking at the sides of his thumbs until they bled. It left Michael back in silence, moving backwards and soon was far behind in his own world, arms wrapped around himself.

Michael was thankful as they found their next home to hide out in. Large, raided but it was safe as there was no bombs hidden and plenty of rooms to ide in incase they were in danger of being attacked. He was quick to go and sit down on the couch, even before it was safe to walk into the house. He leaned back and kicked up his feet onto the table, softly groaning in relief. It felt nice to sit down on the couch after sleeping on the ground and walking all the time. Gavin sat next to him as Geoff went out to the backyard, sneaking a bottle of whiskey that was on the kitchen counter.

 

Ryan sluggishly made his way towards one of the bedrooms and laid down on the bed quietly after closing and locking the door behind himself. He did not want to be bothered now, honestly feeling weak. He knew that he should eat, but the others needed it more in his mind. He thought of it as beneficial. He curled up and closed his eyes and tried to sleep through his piling thoughts and urges. He found himself restless, though, pacing around a bit before sitting back down on the bed and fiddled with his hands. He could feel his body tense on its own and tremble a little. He tried to go back to sleep, hugging a pillow tightly.


	10. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to be nice and give another chapter tonight uvu please enjoy

It hurt.

It hurt him a lot, wanting to scream and pull his hair. He could not seem to shake these thoughts, and they seemed to grow more with passing days. He tried to drown himself with cigarettes, but since Michael found out it was futile to even attempt to now. His hands shook and he paced for a while, an hour at the most. The only sound besides his feet on the ground was his painfully loud stomach. He was hungry, but he did not want to go out of the room and be faced with a million questions on why he was so separated and always wanting to be alone. It was not his fault. It was the fact he just did not know how to cope with these thoughts. He felt like he could do a lot more than just walk and walk and find nothing but new places instead of staying in one place and settling there for more than ten days. He knew he could not risk anything, waning to keep everyone safe. He did not want death. He wanted peace. He wanted safe.

But it look such a huge toll on his body, worrying about everything but himself.

At first, he was getting skinnier from not eating. It was like a thing now though.

Let the others eat, they need it more than himself so that they have the strength as he knew that he did not. He thought he was just there to protect the others. But poorly. Too poorly. He as always shitty at that, knowing that he was more annoying with his concern than Gavin is with his ‘Micools’ and ‘wots’. Ryan sat down on the wooden ground and buried his hands into his hair with a small groan.

These feelings were not knew, popping up even before this epidemic. It was just not prominent when he was alone. Now. He could let the tears fall and he could break his usual tough exposure.

His fist hit the ground hard. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. No, stop. He held his breath after taking in a deep one and slowly let it go and told himself to stop crying and panicking. The others had it worse than he did, telling himself that he did not deserve this moment in cry. He forced himself to stand up and rubbed his eyes free from tears. He could hear a knock on the door, causing the dirty blond to jump.

Only Gavin, once the man spoke. Ryan swallowed thickly.

“… Hey… are you alright?” The door was opened, causing the smaller to jump. Gavin stared at the other for a moment before continuing. “Ryan… Are you alright? You’ve been making these sounds and its worrying…”

The gent smile. Sweet, small, and full of pain. “Yes… I am fine.” He began to close the door but a foot stopped him from doing so and Gavin walked into the room. He sat on the bed and looked at the ground.

“… It smells like smoke in here…” he noted.

“I know. It did when I got into the room… I don’t care.” Ryan kept where he was, not wanting to be near the other. He took a seat where he was sitting.

The silence got thick, and Gavin was left twiddling with his thumbs and hoping that the other would strike up the conversation. Or confess to why he was so different now. Or maybe this was how Ryan was truly. A loner. He would understand that.

Not much later, Geoff came stumbling into the room. He stopped in front of Ryan, who he got up off the ground and dragged him with little effort towards the living room and sat down on the couch.

“Been told you were smoking…” he said, taking a chair and sat in front of the younger, “Ryan. Tell me what’s wrong. This is not at all like you.” There was a long period of silence.

“No. You do not care and nor’ do I feel fine saying. I do not care what happens. I do not care what I do now. The subject will stay with only me and if you have a problem with that then fucking tough. Leave me alone. Go back to sulking about your family.” The last words were dripping with venom, Ryan’s usually light blue eyes were dark. He even looked annoyed to play the part.

Geoff was taken aback, biting his lip as he balled his hands up. “No… No you need to tell me what’s wrong instead of practically killing yourself!” there was no direct answer, only the same biting words about his deceased family.

A hard hand came across Ryan’s cheek with anger, his head wiping towards the right. Geoff stood there for a moment to cool off before speaking.

“Fuck off, you piece of shit. I see why you fucking hide now. You have nothing to give. Annoying.” Ryan gladly did so, going back to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. Geoff looked at his hand and shook his head, turning around and went to go and find some alcohol to drink and calm down.

The two others in the room simply looked at each other before one going towards Ryan’s new hideout and the other with the soon to be drunk elder.

The anger still lingered in the air, and Michael walked up to Geoff and took the bottle of tequila from his hand with little care. He took a daring sip from the bottle.

“I know our mad and all that shit but do you think it was necessary to slap Ryan like that? I get that he was just going off about your family and all but still…” he said insensitively.

The older’s hands formed to fists, “I don’t want him to bring up something I tried so hard to get rid of. He had to be stopped ad words didn’ come out first. Sorry. Too late now.” He snatched the booze before walking away.

“Go apologize to him…” he muttered, but he was met with silence. With a heavy sigh, he continue to follow the other and tried to get Geoff to go without getting too angry.

Gavin on the other hand could not get Ryan out of the room to talk to him. None the least get a sound from the man.

And it frightened Gavin so much, causing him to shake and become quite loud. He would bang on the door, sometimes even with his body. It was a poor attempt really, and it seemed that Ryan was not going to come out any time soon. The Brit knelt on the ground and rested his forehead on the door, able to hear a few hiccups and muttered words of self-hate. It made him cringe every time.

“You’re not stupid or anything, Ry-bread…” came the murmured words that hopefully got through to the other. It did not seem like it since it continued.

All Gavin could do now was sit there and babble words of help and kindness as much as he could, annoyingness and all, until he could get Michael or Geoff to knock the door down and hopefully get through to Ryan.

Michael eventually caught back up to the bearded man, forcing him up against the house and snatched the bottle again. He dropped it onto the ground, causing the bottle to break. It caused Geoff to become more livid but the curly haired man could care less.

“Listen. I don’t care. I don’t want fucking fighting anymore. I don’t need another fucking moment and I don’t want another fight. I want you to fucking make up with Ryan and stop being such a stupid man!” the words were blank to Geoff.

“So? He-“

“No. You fucking listen to me. I’m not all about this. I may fight. I may yell and have a fucking fit but I don’t like it when fucking friends do this to each other. I want peace now. I want neutral as shit. I don’t care if you have to fucking kiss the man to get your stupidness out. Just do so.” He gripped Geoff by the wrist, and began to tug the reluctant man towards the door. Michael went up to Gavin, who had long stopped talking. He was kicked out of the way and the redhead kicked the door hard.

“Open up!”

“He won’t come out or anything… I tried…” Gavin was ignored as Michael continued to kick the weak door until it started to want to bust open. It eventually did, revealing Ryan curled up on the bed like usual. He was holding his cheek with one hand and himself with his other arm. He paid no attention to anyone.

Michael sat Geoff down next to Ryan and backed away.

The bearded man just sat there with a puss on his face and looked away. “No.”

“Yes. Say you’re sorry.”

“No.”

The man was getting pissed, so he himself said for Geoff on how sorry the man was for slapping him and saying those words. There was still nothing more than Ryan turning to his stomach. Michael growled, giving up at this point and turned around, dragging Gavin out and left the other two alone.

 


	11. Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna start to get really weird and depression, just gonna say. Like this is just one of those 'start' chapters that develops into something else. So I am gonna warn you all early that its gonna get either really deep and depressing or their starting faults are gonna show more and more. I will try and keep it down a lot as much as possible before it becomes too watered down.

The two sat there in the same thick silence as usual. Geoff did not move as he did not want to be punched in the face Michael kept threating him about every time he tried and get up rom is stop. HE did not want to be near Ryan. It was clear that the man was pissed off. Yet at the same time he was ready to break from the pain that was building up and was threatening to spill out. He wanted to hit and punch something like he did with Ryan. The feeling was superb and he wanted to continue until he was sure that he would not lash out like that again.

The older turned slightly and saw a large, hand shaped bruise on Ryan’s cheek. Red and most likely stinging with pain. Geoff gave a huff and looked back towards the doorway. He would watch Michael walk passed them with a nasty glare, as if that was going to get him to apologize.

No way would he. The other man did not need one. For one that Ryan was the one to apologize for insulting and bringing up his dead family! Not for himself slapping the younger on the cheek hard enough or the words he spat out when he was too angry. It was not his fault. And he did not care.

Geoff looked towards the other again, eyebrow quirking as he watched him shift in his place and hold a pillow even tighter. Pathetic, was all the bearded man could think. He continued to watch him though, and it actually started to pain him to watch the once strong and durable man cave in and become so weak and vulnerable.

It started to get to him really badly as Ryan’s blue gaze looked directly at him in the eyes. It was quick though, but it was enough to see how upset the man was.

“… Go… just… Lie to him and get it over with… You really don’t care…” his voice was hollow, but he was trying not to bring up too much of his own personal memories from long ago when he was little. Ryan began to crawl under the comforter, only a few locks sticking out from under the white blanket, “really… As stupid as it sounds… I’m used to. So please… spare time. Go…” his shoulders began to quake a little. A small sniffle.

Geoff crossed his arms, still looking at the floor before sighing and adjusted himself so that he was facing the other with blank eyes. “Listen, dick. I don’t care as well. But you need to shut your mouth when you get that far. I-“

“Save it… I repeat… Leave… Please…” Geoff did not move, so Ryan go a little louder and more desperate sounding, “Please! I don’t need sap… I don’t need anything… I… I wanna be alone. It seems like it’s all I am good for. I am useless. I am nothing,” words kept spilling out and soon he was babbling people’s name that he knew in the past. The older could only listen, speaking only when the other was done venting and saying his long forgotten sorrows.

“Sorry… I guess…” he stood finally, shoving his hands into his pockets and took one last glance towards the lump in the bed. He found himself sitting back down and closer to Ryan, a hand on his back. He could feel the other shaking, chewing his lip.

“You’re not sorry!” a painful sounding hiccup, “You inconsiderate fool…” there was a short laugh, but Geoff did not find that funny. He found himself getting angry again, hands balling up. HE took in a deep breath so that he would not try and lash out again, though it was hard as the anger kept bubbling up.

“Oh shut up…” Geoff muttered through gritted teeth, his body tensing up, “Just… Ugh, get more sleep or come out and sleep… You’re getting thin, dick. No sick, Ryan. Got it?”

There was no reply, just the bigger moving away from the hand and soon onto the floor with a loud flop. Ryan leaned against the wall and hid behind the thin blanket that had fallen with him. There was a set of more rapid footsteps and another more lax, Gavin poking his head through the door first.

“Oh! He got out of bed!” he smiled goofily as if he did not just hear what actually happened. Geoff made a snorting sound and stood.

“Said my sorry. Gonna leave this bitch now.” Though Michael was blocking the way of the former army man. Which caused his anger to start to show a little, “Move.”

“No. Turn around and actually just make up. If you think I am deaf then you’re a fucking ass fuck. That wasn’ a sorry, Geoff.” He turned the bigger around and shoved him. Geoff fell in front of Ryan, who was looking over the blanket before turning to his side.

“He did… leave him alone and stop being protective.” Michael opened his mouth to continue but he was pushed out of the way roughly as Geoff made his way passed him. He had a puss on his face.

“Fine… lets go eat. Went out before and stuff. You look starving.” The curly haired man muttered, turning around and left Gavin and Ryan alone.

Gavin shuffled towards the man and held out his hand with a smile. The older did not take it, at first that is, just staring at it before taking the slender hand and was helped up.

He kept the blanket around himself as if that was to protect him, muttering under his breath as Gavin led him towards the living room.


	12. Pushed away farther

Ryan kept away from the others, watching Gavin buzz around. Going from Michael to chat for a little, then to Geoff who he tried to consult and get him to calm down and not be so angry. It just caused the man to erupt in loud words and backed the other against the wall before entirely going away and sat on a chair in the kitchen; his head clunking down onto the table. Gavin immediately went silent after the other’s little ‘explosion’, hanging his head down in shame.

He kept his voice low as he talked, really to no one but Ryan was listening. “He never was like this… why has he changed? I don’t get it… I don’t like it. I want the old Geoff back… he won’t even talk to me normally or or just do much… he gets so ad when I ask what happened… I just wanna know, ya know?” there was a long pause, and Ryan felt the couch dip under Gavin’s lightweight and then a weight against himself. The older did not lean back or go to comfort Brit.

But it did tell him that he was still here and he was still not lost in his memories. It almost warmed him from his cold, yet at the same time he was so numb and wanting to go back to curling up in his little corner and wait until whenever to get up and sneak out. He wished to be alone as all he was truly able to do now was that. He was not smart in this. His specialty was in computers and fixing them. He had a strong parental sense yet at the same time it was so strong he tried his best to damper it. The others were not children. And for sure that they would be annoyed with his doting.

And it hurt. It hurt him very much. He wished he could just go him and pretend like this never happened. He wished to see his son and wife. His own small family. But no. He could not and he knew it. He knew it too well. And it tore him apart. He wanted something here, some sort of that family like connection. But with Geoff’s random spurts of anger and Gavin’s obvious nervousness and Michael trying to get everything sane and looking like he could just ether kill or pull his hair from his head. Ryan could feel himself start to shake again, holding himself tightly and started to curl in on himself.

HE pulled the blanket over his head, hearing the other start to talk again, “… Ryan… Ryan, you alright?” The older just shook his head and forced himself to look at the other with a fake smile.

“Nothing… just…” he sighed, knowing that lying would not get himself any place. “A lot…”

“As in…?” came the murmured inquiry.

“Just… stuff… a lot of… internal stuff…” he as getting to be very awkward and did not want to talk about this. But it seemed that the lanky man sitting next to him was silently begging him to continue.

“It’s just internal shit, Gav…” he quietly used the nickname, “I do not feel comfortable about telling about myself at the time like this… I always say one day for a reason,” another very fake smile, “please do understand… Please do keep that…”

“… You don’t trust me, do you?” Ryan bite his lip and shrugged.

“Trust is now a strong word… And I am not knowing the answer. I am sorry,” he stood despite the hand that suddenly clasped around his wrist, “… I am leaving now, do not stop me, Gav. I would like to go so that I do not create more of a problem.”

“You aren’t a problem,” a whimper, he was starting to get desperate and whiny, “Please stay here… I like talking with you… even if it’s like this… I don’t care. It’s something.” He pulled the arm a little, as if he as trying to goad the older back down to the couch.

Ryan kept the same small, and now weak smile. Nothing more than blank, dark eyes and hollow words now. “You are knowing I do not like to bed for what I would desire. And I desire such thing now, Gav,” he made sure he kept using the same nickname to try and get through the thick skulled man. It did not work though as the tugging got harder and harder before the younger stood up and suddenly forced the other to sit down and took the spot immediately next to him as soon as Ryan’s butt hit the cushion.

“No… I don’t want that. I’m tired of you hiding because of whatever is going through your head. I want answers and I want them now. No later… bull shit… please.” His cheeks flushed a bit as he let the curse word out, but he went passed it and continue, “I _beg_ you to, Ryan Haywood. I plead,” his grip slowly got looser and soon his arm flopped to his side and he went silent.

The dirty blond stood there for a moment, placing a hand on the other’s head and ruffled his hair a little. The locks stood up in different places when he removed his hand and slowly moved himself towards the bedroom. He bumped into Michael, who budged a little and looked up at the taller with no emotions.

It seemed as if he was just passed on from Gavin to the other as if this was planned, practically dragging him to the kitchen and sat him right down next to Geoff with a small plate of bread.

“Better eat this, shit head,” he muttered, taking the seat in front of Ryan, “It took a lot of fucking time to find something out there.” The older man pushed the plate to the center of the table and began to stand up.

“No… no thanks…” he began to leave, despite the tight grip that was on his arm and the curly haired man trying to bring him back to the table.

“No. You have to fucking eat something. I don’t fucking care if I have to shove-“

“Nah.” He removed the other’s hand from himself with some strength and force before he continued, “It is your food. You got it. It is fine.” He closed and locked the door.

Michael banged his fist on the door, growling and muttering under his breath.

“Fucking shit, Ryan…” he stopped, took a deep breath. Even if he felt angry still he took a spot next to the door and waited for the other to come out of the room for either food or to talk and be a normal persona and not so distant from the rest.


	13. attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry... short one...

Once dawn was starting to come around, Ryan had grabbed his cigarette pack and lighter. He was extra careful as he opened the door with a shaking hand.

Looking to the left, he saw that Michael was fast asleep. To the right, no one was coming down the hallway. Perfect.

Ryan slowly moved out of the room, the comforter that he usually had around himself was left on the floor. He was quick to walk out and towards the porch, minding the slumbering Geoff on the couch. He slipped passed the patio’s doors and sat on one of the green plastic chairs. He lit up a cig and took a long drag, his shaking beginning to stop slowly. Blue eyes looked up at the sky, stars slowly coming up as night approached. The moon was soon the only thing that illuminated the area, poorly, but it was fine.

The cold was nippy, the breeze was not making it much better. He wished he had brought the blanket with himself however at this moment it was almost impossible. So, Ryan awkwardly got his feet up onto the seat and sat in a ball to conserve the little heat he had within himself. He extinguished his second cigarette before going to his third, pocketing the pack as he heard the door start to creak open, and the unlit smoke quick to be put down his shirt so that the other would not see what it was. Ryan rose an eyebrow as he saw Geoff, making a face before looking back up at the sky. He tried to keep focus on the stars and anything else other than the other but it was hard to when there was a hand in front of him.

“You smell like smoke… Don’t say that you don’t smoke them… You were coughing the entire way up here and look like you want to again. Just give them or share them.” His words were not the usual bitterness they were. It was almost normal, just more monotonous. But that made it even worse.

The younger did not give any of the smokes to the bearded man, sliding his chair away and sat on the grass. He was not going to talk or do anymore affiliation with the other. He did not need to be yelled at or told what to do or really anything. This was his time to unwind and get himself in order. Not to share his cigs with someone else.

Though, it seemed that the other did have something in mind. It was quick, or at least for him, that Geoff took the cigarette from under his shirt-Ryan guessed he had saw it before hand- and took out the lighter. Geoff lit up his own after placing it between his chapped lips and drew in a long drag. He spat onto the ground.

“I guess thanks...” he muttered, sitting heavily on the ground with the cig still in-between his lips, “whatever.” He lapsed into silence, staring out into the backyard and smoked about halfway down before stopping and finally looked towards the other.

He made a noise, almost laughing as the other jumped a little. “What. You scared? Big man like you all jumpy and shit? Makes me laugh!” Ryan crossed his arms against his chest and mad a face.

His teeth gritted together, “Fuck off. Just fuck off…! Why does it have to be so hard now? I don’t want to be bothered and you’re making me being alone very difficult.”

Another silence.

Geoff stood up, dropping the smoldering bud, “I wanted to say sorry. But you always hide. You always try and leave and aggravate me…” he went towards the door and opened it, “but never mind then, asshole.” He entered the home and slammed the door shut and purposely locked it.


	14. Walk

When morning came around, Michael walked into the kitchen idly. Really this was out of habit, go to the kitchen and find something to eat before going to work. Really he could not go to work so he was sadly stuck with eating bread. He sat down on a chair and looked out the door, noticing a few cigarette butts on the ground. He furrowed his brows and stood up after finishing the slice of bread that he had in his hands. He opened the door and looked out, a cheek puffing out before he closed the door and walked back into the kitchen and looked around. Something felt off, and it was beginning to bother the curly haired gamer. So, he began to walk around the house.

He saw Gavin slumbering in his room, lanky limbs sprawled out and hair disheveled. He then went to Geoff, who was sitting on a couch reading a novel that he found on the shelf in the living room. He crossed his arms and walked closer towards the other, standing in front of the man. His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward. The older did not look up, but knew that the other was looking at him.

“What do you need?” he asked, eyebrow raising slowly as he turned the page.

Michael took in a deep breath to keep himself from getting angry and more worried than he already was. “Where is Ryan?”

“He said he was going for a walk, other than that I have no idea where he is“

Michael slowly backed off, shaking his head. His jaw tensed and he was trying not to actually start to freak out from the lack of information. He squatted down onto the floor and ran a hand through his knotted hair.

“You better be fucking right, ‘cause I don’t want to go out and find a thirty-something year old man with fucking problems,” he twitched, taking in another deep breath.

He stood up and started to walk away before he was being talked to by Geoff, who had slowly put down the novel onto his lap. He did not make any sort of eye contact.

“I bet he left. I bet he just got really fucking fed up,” he leaned back in his couch and looked up towards the ceiling. He started to ramble, “Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t come back. I mean. I wouldn’t and Then again I am the fucking ass fuck in this small group when really I’m just as scared and afraid as the rest and I don’t know how to cope with it.” He was breathless for a second, before catching his breath and continuing. His words slowly fell on deaf ears and soon was interrupted by Gavin.

“Could you stop talking? I am trying to sleep…” he rubbed his eyes and wandered towards the chair and sat heavily on it, “Especially about Ryan… just leave the man alone if he wants to be alone. And don’t be loud,” there was a snort, causing the grouchy Brit to glare at Geoff.

* * *

 

“Whatever… I’m gonna go out for a while….” He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets, and walked towards the front door.

The other two did not stop the other, actually too fearful that he would snap and cause the group to get farther apart than they were already. Michael sat down on the couch where Geoff was originally sitting and watched as the elder left the home before looking forward.

Geoff walked pretty far, and ended up on a deserted highway. He knew he was lost, the area unfamiliar and well honestly frightening. He stopped in his spot and looked around. He could see really nothing other than cars and dead, eaten bodies. He stared at one of them, taking in how it looked. Decomposing slowly, in the state of Livor Mortis as there was a tint of purple on what back was visible. He leaned in a little closer, and could see that there was multiple bite wounds, blood caked around the openings, and upon further inspection he could see a very tiny hand clasping around the larger one. He backed away, wrapping his arms around himself and forced himself to turn around to keep going. His stomach was doing backflips though as the image was still stuck in his head and had to stop several times to go and gag off to the side.

 

After almost vomiting up nothing in his stomach, Geoff shook his head and forced his heavy legs to continue to walk. He stopped yet again towards a toll booth, looking out and saw someone or something walking. He slowed his pace down a lot and crouched down when it looked behind itself. He stood and went behind a car and watched the person walk along. He looked oddly familiar, but he could not see who it was clearly as the person was going farther and farther away. He was slowly moving closer with every five steps the other took. Bu soon he could see his face and gave a small sigh as it was only Ryan. Geoff stood up normally and walked up close to the dirty blond.

 

“… Ryan…?” he muttered in an almost question like statement, “Why are you all the way out here…?” The man had stopped as he hard his name but did not turn around as he knew who it was. He was just like the other two back at the house, not wanting to make any sort of trouble by not talking and being as distant to the other as possible just in case that the older decided to blow up.

 

But it seemed that only made Geoff come closer at an uncomfortable proximity. Ryan took a few steps away from him, but was pulled back to his original spot. The older kept his hand around the other’s wrist, shaking his head as Ryan was tugging his arm to get away.

 

“It probably seems the only time I can say this is now with no others… I wanted to say sorry… but obviously my dickish anger got the best of me and I ended up snapping more than I should have and I am sorry.” The taller had stopped his tugging, swallowing thickly.

 

“… I am not know if I should believe your statement there, Geoff… It obviously is hurtful that you just decide to take all your bottled anger out on me when I know for sure you know it is not the correct thing to do. You… should have done something else,” he felt the grip tighten as he was tugging again, “and… and I would rather you go back as well… Gavin and Michael need you. I can be fine on my own…” the bearded man laughed.

 

“You’re so fucking stupid at times, Ryan Haywood. They need you as much as I need you. You are the smart and rational one here. Not the stupid one. But you act so stupid now instead of what you used to be. Seriously… I-“

 

“I have my reasons for my so called ‘stupid actions’. And you are not needing to know. You will not like it…” he shook a bit as there was a cold wind that breezed past them.

 

“Please let go of me.” Geoff turned around and tried to force the other to move with him, “I don’t want to go back… I am sorry…”

“You are. I know you do. You are just too fucking stubborn. Now get off that type of fucking horse and lets go. I want to get back with at least something before night. And I know you don’t want to stay out… Again.”

 

“Wonder why that was….” Ryan muttered, slowly sitting down. Though that just made it easier for the bigger to forcibly drag the weaker, actually having to hook his foot around a lamp post so that he did not move anymore.

 

“No, seriously. Get off _your_ stubborn horse and leave me!” Geoff was visibly getting angry at this point and actually got the other up to his feet and pushed him hard to get him to go.

 

“Fucking no. Now shut up and get moving or else I’ll shove you down and you’ll be food for the rest of them!” Ryan stayed put, looking down. Geoff had his grip so tight that his knuckles were white and the other’s wrist was red. He pulled him along and continued his way back to the home stiffly.

* * *

 

“I also fucking swear you try to run off and do any more stupid things I’m gonna keep true to my words.” Geoff muttered as they entered the home yet again, an arm and a bag filled with supplies. Michael had woken up when the door had opened and had his pistol out, ready to shoot but only saw it was the two Gents. He sleepily muttered nothings and laid back down on the couch.

 

“Don’t scare me, assholes.” He curled up, bringing the blanket he had around himself tighter, “Just do whatever… no loud sounds… I wanna stay asleep this time…”

 

Ryan had long went around the couch and towards the bedroom, walking back out and then towards the patio to where he was originally before walking off to get his mind off of things. It seemed that it was for the same reason, quick to start up a cig and smoke it, making sure that his back was to the door so that he was not watched.


	15. explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took consideration into Pontythings idea and there will be mentioning of Ryan's family this chapter. Just a kind saying uvu

Geoff sat on the ground, not at all listening to Michael as he talked and paced around. The words were really nothing of his concern, not even when the other had said his name several times. Or the fingers that were snapping in front of his face. But he was focused on the ground and soon the man that was sitting outside. He did not know how to put what he wanted to ask Ryan. He was finally snapped out of it when he was shaken by the curly haired gamer, lazily looking up at the younger and cocked his head to the side.

“What?” he asked, more bitter like than friendly. It took the other back a little before he strengthen a bit and knelt down to get face to face.

“Were you even listening to me?”

“No…” he stood up stiffly, “I need to go and ask questions… don’t follow…” his pace was slow as he went towards the back door and opened it slowly.

Ryan looked behind himself, eyes dark with sleep deprivation and it was the first time in a long time that Geoff had saw the other so lost looking. As if the other man’s plagues were finally getting the best of him. The bearded man closed the door and walked forward, taking a chair and sat in front of the other. He hunched over, elbows on his knees and hands folded, and looked to the side as he continued to think of what he was going to say. The younger was about to speak up before Geoff finally came up with what was needed to be said.

“Tell me, Ryan… what’s happening with you? Like you’re not the same and you’re not anything but this. And it’s just… freaking me out… stop being a dick ad talk…” The other laughed, a short pathetic sounding one.

“Why should I? I mean… It is my own personal problems that I cannot actually hold in for as long as I thought it would… And why would you all the sudden care about what was wrong with me at this moment?”

“Maybe because you are my friend and I care about you, “Ryan laughed loudly, “I’m not lying to you, Ryan. Don’t laugh.”

“With how you are treating everyone now, it is hard for me to actually accept that as true. And it is really hard for me to believe you anymore because of your fucking actions and the recent ‘you leave’ bull fuck and I do not want to hear you anymore. I do not want to anything with you anymore,” his shoulders began to quiver and he hung his head. Ryan shook his head as he forced himself to hold back everything, drawing in a sharp breath before looking at the other with the same fake smile as before.

“Please, as I always say, leave.” He said slowly, though the other did not move, twiddling his thumbs. Ryan got a little louder, sitting up straighter, “I said Leave, Geoff. I do not want a repetition from beforehand. I really do think that this little chat and questioner thing that you got, or really trying to get, is over.”

“I want the answer.”

“I am not willing-“

“I said,” Geoff stated louder, standing up and towering over the other, not menacing though as it was more to get the other to continue to look at him in the eyes still, “I want you to talk on what the fuck is bothering you! Smoking and doing whatever else you do in that room is definitely not helping. I just want to help…” he tilted the other’s head back as Ryan looked away, his eyes softening and he lowered his voice to a defeating plead, “please…”

Ryan was silent, leaning back and closed his eyes so that he did not have to look at the other. He brought his legs up to his chest and buried his face into them. He knew at this point he was not able to leave and the other was for sure to pressure him further on spilling what was eating him alive.

He took a shuddering breath in before speaking for only Geoff to hear.

“I just… I just have that feeling… Ya know… that feeling were you know you have just about everyone that means to you but you know you’re missing a few others… yeah… that… I really just…” he ran a hand through his hair, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat, “I was… planning on trying to find them… when I left… I knew it was a long trek... Probably would have died, but that is okay, you know. It happens sooner or later. It happens to all of us. Decomposing into something more useful than bad,” he smiled a blank smile, his eyes growing darker and cloudy. He pathetically rubbed his eyes to banish the tears.

“It was supposed to really go unnoticed,” he laughed, “I am guessing one of the others found out too quickly before I can actually start to go further…” his expression hardened and he was now glaring at the other, “now you know a little on what the fuck is going on. How I, what you think as the smart computer man, as really a broken person that wishes to have his family around. And he knows they are gone, I bet if I go back to my house I will find nothing but a suicide note and death or worse, they have been eaten before being said good bye to.” Ryan stood up, awkwardly moving around the other and took a few steps towards the door before he was being pulled back.

He did not struggle, though, and the other could feel how badly he was shaking. The dirty blond’s voice dropped significantly, sniffling, “better keep this to yourself…” he squeezed his eyes shut.

“I know… Don’t worry.” But the other looked at him with obvious doubt, and it pained Geoff to even look at him anymore.


	16. to keep going

It was a few weeks later when they had to leave. There was a sighting of a horde of those blind things, Gavin swearing that they were safe unless they go outside. Though that was shot down as Michael was gathering the little supplies they had and walked towards the living room. He stopped in front of the couch, the chatting that was ceased. Ryan looked at the younger and shook his head, leaning back and looked away. Michael huffed, dropping the bag down onto the ground.

“Aren’t we going?” he asked slowly, “I thought your stupid ass told us we should, Ryan. Or at least what Gavin had told me what you had said to hi…” he crossed his arms ad he waited for his reply. Though he did not get it from Ryan, but Geoff.

“We are, we are. Don’t worry…” he muttered, patting Ryan on the head before going to go and find Gavin, “Just stay here…”

The eldest walked off and Michael was left with Ryan, who was still not looking at anything and almost had that look like he was going to start to tear up and start to cry. Michael would have talked to the man, but it seemed that the other only talked to Geoff now and not so much Gavin and himself. It pained him, as he wished to be closer to everyone besides for Gavin, as those two were already ‘bois for life’. Michael sat on the ground, leaning back onto his elbows before standing up again with Ryan as Geoff brought back the youngest. Gavin was quick to pick up the other bag before stopping at the door, looking back before going out.

“What’s wrong with him…?” the redhead asked.

“He’s too excited about leaving. Keep an eye out for him… you know how he gets when too excited.” Geoff muttered, following after the Brit. Ryan was next to him quite quickly, and Michael knew that he was talking since he could hear a few words come out of his mouth.

It started to annoy him greatly as he watched as the two oldest were talking and soon barely keeping an eye out for Gavin, who was running ahead and then slowing down and looking around; like a scout that was poor at his job and was too excited to go and try to find Jack and Ray, wherever they were. Michael had to walk a bit faster, passing the two Gents and caught up to Gavin, grabbing him by the arm as he got too close to a mangled body. He gave a meek smile towards the shocked other before talking to him in a quiet tone. Or really as quiet as he could, as really he wanted the others to hear what he was talking about, but since the distance that he put between them it was hard to do so.

 

“So… I was thinking… What is up with those two?” Gavin shrugged, “Like after that day Geoff found the idiot… it seemed that those two are inseparable… Do you think that they are in like a relation or whatever gushy shit?” Gavin shrugged again.

 

“Well if they are then it’s their business… Even I want to know as well… But honestly I don’t know what is wrong with those guys. The became so hush hush…” he looked down, stopping as he had to tie his shoe, “I think ‘cause they have problems… Ryan does. The twit can’t even stand up right anymore… It’s really obvious now… maybe he got bit?”

 

Michael swallowed hard at that thought. Ryan was always the one to hide that he was sick until it was really obvious and he was so weak. But he was also the type to force himself to keep walking and doing everything that he had to even if it coast him to either fall from exhaustion or pass out. He looked behind himself, seeing how Geoff would look up at them before talking hush to Ryan; who was leaning against the other for support. Michael looked away, walking again as Gavin stood up and bounded ahead. The curly haired gamer shoved his hands into his pockets, walking down the ramp and towards the underside of the highway they were on.

After some time, the group had stopped in the middle of a very small forest, Michael looking around. He could just see marks on a tree, looking around again and saw blood on another. He stepped closer towards Gavin, who had stopped to let the others get closer, and grabbed his hand. He felt too uneasy at the familiar place, hand touching the pistol that he kept in his back pocket and then back to his face to make sure that he could still feel. Even if he could feel himself start to stiffen and soon stop moving.

 

“I want to go…” he muttered, turning around to actually go the other way to find where they started to walk into the forest, but Geoff had turned him around and gave a somewhat gentle push, “Really.”

 

“Yeah. Really. Just keep walking.” He muttered emotionlessly, “nothing to be afraid of here… And plus, we are almost out.” Michael just stopped walking all together and froze up, looking around.

 

His grip got tighter to Gavin’s, to the point were the other was wincing in pain and his entire arm was shaking. He knew he could not let what memories was so new to him get to his head. Even if he could identify the bodies that had bullet wounds in it. Hopefully no one would bring it up, as this was something that would most likely cause him to break away and go back to the shadows like he was in the beginning. He looked towards Geoff, who was then looking at him and then back to looking out straight. Michael grasped onto the older’s hand with the same strength as he did with Gavin and tried to focus on that.

 

“I don’t ever want to go back there…” he muttered after they finally stopped a long while away in from of a shopping center. He sat heavily on the ground, eyes closed. His nerves were still high and he felt dizzy.

 

He was eventually picked up and goaded into the now opened door of the mall, finding a new place to sit down and slowly curl up. He did not bother with looking around for supplies or new glasses or really anything. He just wanted to rest and think of something nice. Michael fiddled with his hands as he watched Geoff and Gavin buzz around, sometimes talking and sometimes just going passed each other. He watched them for a little more before adverting his gaze to the man that sat next to him.

 

The other looked just as tired as the rest, and it was just odd to see him without the comforter he had around him back at the house. His gaze was caught by the older, who was looking at him blankly.

 

“Yeah…?” Michael jumped, breaking his gaze.

 

“Nothing… Nothing… Your just in my staring space.” He was obviously joking, but Ryan seemed to have taken that seriously and stood up, sitting down on the ground and in a ball.

 

“Are you being content now?” he asked, leaning back into the bench, the fake wood digging into his back uncomfortably.

 

“Not really… but what the fuck ever makes you happy, Ry…” Michael looked forward, sometimes looking down and watching the other either pick at the sides of his fingers or just blankly look out into nothing.

Michael had fallen asleep, really more of a nightmare filled twitch fest according to Ryan, before he was startled as someone was shaking him awake. He looked around, pointing the gun at everyone before realizing that it was just the others and that make him relax just a little. HE was slow to pocket the weapon, trying to calm himself down.

 

“Don’t fucking scare me like that…” he muttered, taking his time as he sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

 

  
“Well sorry… We have to go in further. Just safety shit.” Geoff muttered, turning around, “found a secluded shop. There you can sleep. C’mon. The others are waiting.”

 

Michael had stood up and followed the other, taking his time. Once they had reached the shop, Michael went straight to the farthest corner and sat down, closing his eyes despite his nightmares from before.


	17. more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might make this a 20 chapter story... I am not knowing for definite yet but for now that will be the goal. But do expect this to end very soon unu I am sorry.

Geoff watched over the group, taking small walks around the area to make sure that there was nothing that had made its way into the building. He eventually sat down on a bench and hunched over, he was a good distance away from the slumbering others but close enough to run to them and wake them up to make their escape. That was another thing. An escape route. He stood up once that came to mind and started to mentally map out a route as he walked around. He started with the stores around where the others were. He entered one of them, taking a look around the clothing shop before turning around and walked out.

He continued to look around until he heard a loud noise, stopping in his tracks and looked around. He noticed something limping around, making moan like sounds as it blindly looked around. Geoff's breath hitched as he saw it look in his direction before making a groan and turned around. He could not move, paralyzed with fear.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited until he could move his legs and was able to continue with an obvious stumble. He knelt down on a bench and looked over the ledge, seeing a horde of those things that he and Gavin seemed to miss. He could only stare at the wandering group. He was stuck watching as one of them attacked another, the attacker ripping one arm apart. Blood splattered onto the floor and soon the thing was being eaten. The cannibalistic monster roared as a few others tried to get closer towards the fresh kill.

Geoff was able to take his gaze away as he heard another pair of footsteps from behind, seeing a humanoid like figure in the background. He swallowed nervously before looking back down before the person He choose to stand up and slowly make his way towards the other. He stopped behind a corner and taking a peek before hiding as it looked back.

He was really fucking stupid for not knowing that it was one of those things. He was practically asking to be murdered now.

It walked closer and stopped right next to Geoff, who was holding his breath as it looked right at him. Its breath was rancid and he swore he would have vomited if the thing did not move away and went back to wandering lost like. Geoff let out a breath, taking a few steps away from the thing and tried to go back by retracing his steps. HE stopped when he saw another group, and then looked around before he was frozen in place.

He caught one’s glance and freaked, not really knowing that he was started to run. He could hear the roaring behind himself and a group of rapid feet following after him. He skidded around a corner, falling to the ground before scrambling to pick himself up and ran straight into one of the shops to hide. He closed one of the dressing rooms doors and squatted down on the bench, watching the shadow pass him and then come back. The moaning sent shivers down his spine. The bearded man rocked himself, finding himself trapped and very much scared for his life.

He found himself staying in the same spot for the rest of the day, leaning against the wall and waited for someone to come and banish the long gone monsters away. Geoff flinched as he heard footsteps, shaking as he heard a voice.

Human though, but the man could not tell as he was so used to the sound of monsters. He moved away as he saw a flashlight, the sound of doors opening and the voice was filled with genuine concern. Geoff’s door was soon opened and wide brow eyes stared at him.

“Geoff…?!” the man in statement flinched, looking slowly towards the sound and saw the younger. His eyes narrowed and he became very defensive. He did not say anything though, just glaring and trying to back away from the other.

Ray tilted his head to the side, holding out his hand, “It’s me Geoff. I’m not one of those things… nothing to worry.” He smiled. He was thrilled that the other was here, as he originally thought that the other was gone, “are the others here?”

Geoff was silent still, taking in a deep breath to calm his nerve before drawing the other into a tight hug, He broke down, however, shoulders quivering and he was holding the younger with all the strength he could muster.

“All but J-Jack…” he murmured finally, “Don’t know where he is…”

“Oh… I know where he is… Back at base.” Geoff tilted his head to the side, moving backwards and let go of the other.

“The base?”

“Yeah. Jack and I found each other not too far from here… the man’s really distraught though, he told me that he didn’t really have the best of luck…” he hung his head with a heavy sigh, “But then we found a base and they took us in and stuff and yea. I haven’t ventured out this far and I am glad I did and yeah.” He moved away so that the other could stand up.

Geoff stayed on his seat, leaning forward a little, “anymore of those things?” he asked with a hint of nervousness.

“Uh…” Ray moved back and looked around, shaking his head as he walked back, “No… It’s safe. C’mon.” he got the other up, “Just lead the way.”

Geoff nodded, though was behind the other as he was really nervous to go out of his little hiding spot that he had for the past few days. HE was able to meet back with the others, Michael yelling at him.

“Where the fuck were you?!”

“I fucked up…”

The curly haired man look like he was ready to punch him in the face before Gavin piped up about seeing Ray.

Michael did not greet him, rolling his eyes as he sat down on the bench that he was originally. “You’re lucky we waited for your stupid ass. We would have left. At this point I only care about survival. And I am willing to drop someone if needed.” Geoff crossed his arms.

“Well fuck you as well. Lets just go before more of those things come and find us.” Gavin grabbed Ryan and Michael as he seemed to be the only one that actually was listening to the tattooed man and dragged the two behind himself, and soon started to chat with Ray happily. And very oblivious to everything.


	18. Bite

The group wandered around, following Ray as he was leading the way towards the base. There was some chatting, nothing really serious other than what was going on and the rules to when they entered the base. Ray would stop at times to look around to see if anyone was following them, before pushing aside some foliage and then up towards a gate. He walked towards it, the people who were watching them pointed guns towards the others though Ray spoke up.

"They're with me! Don't worry!" they lowered their guns a little before they were allowed into the base. Ray looked at the others before stopping.

"I'll be back... Gonna go and find Jack and go tell stuff to people that you won't care about." he waved the others for a short good bye before leaving them in the center of the bustling area.

Soon, Ray came back. He was carrying a few supplies with him, and Jack was walking behind him and it looked like the two were talking about something. The conversation stopped when they reached the four. Jack smiled as he saw the others, though he and Ray were pulled into a tight hug. They stayed like this for awhile before they awkwardly broke apart. Geoff could only smile as his little group was back together. Sure with some broken parts but it could be mended with some more time.

Ryan was the first to start to actually move away, distancing himself further. He wet through his bag, sighing. "Excuse me..." he muttered, walking away from the rest of the group and started to go towards an area with no people. He sat down on the ground, a cig in-between his lips and was lit soon afterwards.

Ray furrowed his brows, "What's wrong with him?"

"Stuff. I was told not to tell anyone anything about what's wrong with him... But I can say is just leave him alone and don't bother him if he is in a mood... Alright? I don't need him to run off again..." Geoff sat down on the ground, shrugging. Ray could only nod as he sat down as ell, placing the supplies he had onto the ground.

"The head guy said that you can stay as long as you pull your part and don't mess anything up..." Jack said, taking his spot next to Ray, "other than that its all fine and dandy... until we have to relocate... there has been sightings of those things and other groups and most likely we would have to pack up and start to move tonight..."

Michael groaned, kicking some dirt, "I'm so sick of that shit... Really you're already here then why does it matter? you got the guns. You have enough supplies and shit here so what the fuck is the fucking point?!" he sat down heavily onto the ground. Jack and Ray looked between each other before the older spoke up.

"It's... not our choice... So really all we can do is listen and try not to get kicked out... I rather have move around with a group then be with five others and constantly moving... Nothing really wrong with that but it helps with more people. Safe. It's better for survival in my opinion." Michael laughed loudly, flopping onto his back.

"Sounds like a bull fuck answer to me. Whatever."

"Well... really Michael we can't just stay... he does have a point. There's greater protection with more now... as stupid as it is..."

"Oh shut up, Geoff." the younger sat up and narrowed his eyes, "It's safer with less. And you know that... you know that too well." He stood up, "whatever. Talk to me when you have enough sense..." Gavin was quick to stand up as well and bounded after his friend.

* * *

 

Night came quick, and the group was left in a term oil.

Ryan did not care where he went.

Gavin and Michael wanted to stay put finally and not move with the group.

And Ray, Jack, and Geoff wanted to go with the group as they thought it was safe to do so.

It all brought fighting and they did not realize until it was too late that the base was being attacked by a small horde of those blind things. It took a moment to realize that one of their small group was being attacked. The thing was quick to be shot and killed, Geoff looking at the squirming thing before it ceased to move from another shot. He was paralyzed with fear, the only thing he could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ear. He jumped as he felt someone pick him up and practically carry him in a rushed manner to catch up with the rest of the group.

Morning was slow to come, and by the time it came around Geoff was weak and pale looking. The rest of their little group thought it was just from the night before and that he was just shaken up from fear. Though the man actually felt very ill, refusing to eat despite being forced fed. He would sleep in the shared tent, hiding under the think blanket tried to sleep off this heightening fear.

The medic came into the tent after the second day as worry increased, and was quick to stop all treatment. Geoff's leg was exposed still and the cool wind caused goosebumps to show.

"Why did you stop...?" asked Jack, trying to take a peak into the tent but was promptly stopped.

"No. He's a gonner. Sick. Bit." the rest of the Achievement hunter men were gathering now, all not believing.

"Don't lie."

"He has. He has all the symptoms. Even going blind at a quick rate. He has no more than a day or two if lucky left." the man went past him, "You can stay with him... but not for long..."

The men looked between each other, lost.


	19. Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Im gonna make this the last chapter and most likely shortest cause I don't really wanna drag this out to much? So yea... sorry. After this update Im gonna go update the other story with probably one more chapter before going off and trying to think of something else to write and starting that because why the fuck not. It would be kind if you send ideas, but you don't have to uvu I dont mind

The group went into the tent one at a time, all sitting in an awkward U-shape around the eldest. The wound was still gushing blood, black around the edges and it look like it was getting infected quickly as the rest of the skin around it was puffy and very red. The bearded man's breath was rapid, and he struggled to open his eyes as he sensed the others presence, looking around the fuzzy area. His sight was getting progressively worse as the virus took its place, but he managed a smile as he caught Gavin's stare. His smile faulted as he saw that the other was starting to tear up, though he shook his head as almost a silent protest for any of them to start to cry. He did not want that. He wanted, actually, for the others to leave so that they would not get hurt if he decided to lash out.

Geoff gave a harsh cough, a trickle of thick reddish black blood coming down the corner of his lips. The blood was not warm, though, as it was wiped away and looked at up close. Geoff looked at Gavin and shook his head, though the Brit just shook his head and wiped the thick liquid on his tattered pants and looked down.

"I wasn't gonna do something stupid. Don't worry... just... Just think about something else..." he clasped the hand that reached out between his two hands and gave a forced smile.

The group lapsed into a thick silence, everyone holding each other and attempting to comfort the sickly man as best as they could. They would eventually leave as they were forced to leave the man went it got to the point where he would lash out and try and attack the others. But the group stayed very close to the tent, protecting their friend from anyone that decided to take the dying man's life without their consent. That would have made the mad. Honestly, they made plans for leaving with Geoff and a gun, travel into the forest and leave the group that wanted to kill the infected. But it was not very easy, according to Michael who did some research around the area and found that it would e near impossible with all the guards around.

They made a new plan to do this at night.

Which instead of the day before was slow to fall as they all were nervous. The gun Michael still had was replenished with more bullets and was cleaned up just for the occasion. Jack wrapped Geoff in the blankets he was still in, gathering him up and took him out of the tent. He could feel the cold hands touch his cheeks, blood smearing across. Small tracks of the liquid was washed away from the tears, the droplets falling onto the older's face. The ginger walked quickly towards the fence, an opening was made by wires and slipped through. He went towards the small light he could see, stopping in front of a tree and placed Geoff against it. He wiped away the blood that was forming from his lips and stood back, listening to the pathetic growling.

He felt someone take his hand and place it on something metal like, his body freezing as he could just see the pistol in the dull glow of the flashlight Ray was holding.

"Someone... just... Just shoot..." Gavin muttered, unable to look or now even hold the gun. This was the man that had taken him in when he moved to Texas after getting a job. He felt sick just thinking about killing the man that he thought as like a father figure. He felt his stomach twist and he felt as if he was going to vomit just thinking of this, swallowing back.

"Someone please just do-" the gun's triggered was pulled, effectively shutting Gavin up, though that was also enough as he realized what just happened to turn and run off to go and rid of the nothing in his stomach. Ryan lowered his arm and dropped the gun, breathing heavily as he could just make out the large bullet wound in Geoff's forehead. He was quick to turn around and walk off, though it was obvious that he was going to go and be sick.

Ray just looked among the rest before dropping to his knees and stared at the corpse, taking i a deep breath. Really a bad move as all he smelt was the rotting flesh and blood, making him as queasy as the rest. Gavin had came back, standing behind a tree and just looked beyond. He was startled as he felt a hand on his shoulder, looking back and saw one of the people from the camp. Ryan was behind the rest, not looking as well as before and most likely was ready to run. The rest of the group from the campsite went over and gathered the rest of the alive men and left the body.

"Could we bury it tomorrow...?" Jack asked quietly to the man.

"If it has not been eaten... or moved..."

All he could do was nod.

* * *

 

The next day the body as still there, his skin pale on the top but was a blackish purple towards the bottom of his legs. Ray carried a couple of hand made shovels towards where the rest of the group thought was a good place to bury Geoff. Though, they were all stopped by Ryan, who had the dead man in his arms.

"Continue... better spot... I don't think its far..." he muttered,"plus I don't want to stay here..." he continued to walk, the rest of the group giving glances before following the slow walking man reluctantly. They eventually reached back to their old work place, really actually getting lost and several days later carrying a corpse.

Ryan dropped down where he remembered where Geoff had buried his family and laid the rotting corpse down. He took one of the shovels from this time Gavin, digging a spot that was deep. He laid th body down and covered it gently with dirt before stnading back with his head down. The group slowly ended up hugging each other as all could not move as they were too far into mourning.


End file.
